


I Never Did Believe In Miracles (But I've A Feeling It's Time To Try)

by OutliveALie



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Cordelia Is Slightly Self-Sabotaging, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Sharing a Bed, This Is By Far The Most Cliché Thing I Have Ever Written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 07:38:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17018499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutliveALie/pseuds/OutliveALie
Summary: A Saturday afternoon brought with it many expectations; a chance to finish off some paperwork, tend to her plants, a leisurely dinner with her girls.She never expected an impossibility.---Or, 'yet another Misty comes back from Hell with little explanation' story (written after Coven, Apocalypse motivated me to finally finish it).





	I Never Did Believe In Miracles (But I've A Feeling It's Time To Try)

**Author's Note:**

> Watching Apocalypse finally motivated me to finish this, I began writing it a very long time ago after Coven finished (hence Apocalypse having no relevance here and being completely ignored). It was meant to be 15k at most, but as you can see it ended up a lot longer than that. There isn’t really much plot here, it was all just a long winded excuse to write emotions, fluff, and some smut. A very long winded excuse!
> 
> It’s my first time writing these two, so I hope it is alright. Any advice is greatly appreciated! I do hope to write more with them in future if inspiration strikes.

A Saturday afternoon brought with it many expectations; a chance to finish off some paperwork and take her time tending to her plants, a nice leisurely dinner with her girls, perhaps she might have to sort out a couple of squabbles or need to seek out some of the older girls who had broken their curfew.

One thing she never expected, as she stood up from her desk and quickly crossed over to a wide-eyed Kyle standing in her doorway, was for anyone to ever utter the words, “It’s Misty. She’s back.”

It brought her to a halt, frozen in place, heart giving a lurch as those few words were slowly absorbed. She shook her head, gaze jumping over Kyle’s shoulder to the empty corridor behind him, her voice distant. Lost.

“That’s impossible.”

“So I heard, but when I answered the door – ”

“Where is she?” She was already moving past him, and was halfway down the corridor when he jogged to catch up and take the lead. With each second that passed her heartbeat quickened, her palms clammy.

“She seemed a little startled by all the people, so I thought it better to leave her somewhere quiet,” he explained as they descended the stairs, her glance must have belied the concern that swept over her as he added quickly, “I saw Zoe on my way to you. She’s with her.”

That calmed her nerves somewhat, short-lived though it was. The full weight of it all only hit her when they entered a side room by the foyer and she saw Misty sitting on the couch, looking around with large dazed eyes.

_Impossible…_

To fail at Descensum was to be gone forever, body lost, soul trapped. Even if were possible for the soul to escape, there was nothing to come back to. No one had returned after failing. It was impossible.

Oh, _how_ she knew that.

Briefly, ever so briefly, she considered this was all some cruel elaborate trick, after all, fate had never been particularly kind to her – though whose trick, she couldn’t say. But as the door shut quietly and Misty’s gaze found her, eyes wide and watering, she knew it was no trick.

She could _feel_ her. Warm and bright.  And real.

Misty clutched a flowery shawl tightly around herself, bare feet and the ends of her black dress stained with mud. Zoe sat beside her, a supportive hand on her arm.

For a long moment Cordelia could only stand there, her breath caught in her throat, her name on her lips but refusing to leave her, as if saying it would somehow make her vanish. _Ridiculous_. She wrestled with herself, seeking control over her tangled emotions before they bubbled over.

Zoe cast a concerned look to Misty, whose gaze had not left Cordelia, and with a few unheard words, left her side to cross to Cordelia, speaking quietly, “She’s wearing what she…” Zoe bit her lip, mulling over the words carefully before continuing, “What she wore when we last saw her.”

Cordelia nodded her thanks to Zoe. Of course that would not be something she would have been able to pick up on. In fact, this was the first time she had seen Misty since she had her… borrowed eyes, and that had been well over seven months ago. God, it felt so much longer.

“She seems a bit lost,” Zoe whispered, face falling and forehead furrowing as soon as the words left her, “… Perhaps that’s an understatement.”

“Not really surprising though.” Cordelia’s gaze slid from Zoe to her right, surprised and a little mortified that she had not noticed Queenie was there. Queenie frowned, hands on her hips, “Shit, it’s bad enough being stuck there for a couple of hours.”

And to be stuck there, reliving who knows what, over and over for half a year…

Her own short time in hell had been bad enough, she could not begin to imagine what Misty had been through. None of them could possibly…

“I didn’t think it was possible,” Zoe whispered, amazement lacing her voice.

“It’s not.”

Cordelia crossed the short distance to Misty and, undecided over whether to sit beside her or not, crouched down in front of her.

“Misty?” She spoke softly, her voice cracking, hardly able to believe it as her name finally passed her lips – as it all began to solidify and become real. There was no immediate answer, blue eyes still fixed on her face, pink lips slightly parted.

She jumped, tensed, startled by the touch to her face, but managed to take a breath, calm herself and hold still. Misty’s fingers glided across her cheek, up, around her eye until them came to a rest just below it.

Misty finally spoke, her words gentle, astonished, “Your eyes.”

Embarrassingly, it took her a moment to piece it together. Face heating.

“Radiant health – ”

"You’re the Supreme?” Misty said on a breath, and yet she neither sounded nor looked the least bit surprised, “What did I tell you.”

Cordelia’s lips tugged up into a smile, a little laugh escaping her. Misty nodded, seeming more herself in that moment, her touch retreating. Cordelia brushed her fingers over Misty’s shoulder, comfortingly, reassured by the solidness, the silk of her shawl. She truly was there. She was real. She was _back_.

“I guess you were right about me being a leader, or so I’ve since been told.”

Behind her were some sounds of acknowledgement, the specifics of which she would not have been able to catch if she tried. Not with Misty before her.

“Awesome leader,” Misty corrected, a small grin on her face.

Cordelia leant closer for a moment, seeing Misty’s arm move and expecting the touch this time as her fingers trailed along the sleeve of her blouse, “Awesome, then.”

Misty’s smile grew, but faltered when she finally looked away from her. She looked between Zoe and Queenie and then returned her gaze back to her. She sucked her bottom lip, a question on the tip of her tongue, none of them rushed her, allowing her the time to verbalise what was on her mind.

Her touch fell away. “I get the feelin’ something’s happened to the others.”

So much had changed, hadn’t it?

“They’re gone.” Queenie’s words were considerate, especially compared to how she had described one of those losses in the past.

Cordelia bowed her head, gaze on Misty’s clasped hands in her lap, all the losses hurt, but she was still stung sorely by the loss of the only positive parental figure she had ever had in her life. Even if Myrtle had been right, as she always was.

“I’m afraid your feeling is right.” Her voice was solemn, all the losses a burden on her, somehow even more so now – to think she had once thought that impossible. “Of those you knew, we’re the only ones left, but the Academy has grown exponentially since then.”

Misty bowed her head, eyes closing, a brief moment of grieving? A prayer? Cordelia could not tell for certain, but she was so strongly reminded of just how great Misty’s capacity to care was. How deeply she felt.

When shining blue eyes met her own once more, she continued, “As I think you may have seen, there are a lot more of us now, however.” Sometimes she still found it hard to believe just how much the coven had grown.

Wonder shone in Misty’s eyes, lips parted in amazement, voice light, “There’s so many of us?”

Cordelia nodded, smile warm, a laugh – disbelief still at how they had grown – tumbling from her lips.

“After Cordelia revealed our presence to the world so many came seeking help. Safety. Teaching.” Misty’s gaze slid from hers to Zoe behind them, but returned quickly, astounded.

Cordelia spoke, voice full of strength even though she could feel it tremble within her, heart fluttering, “This is your home too, Misty, always has been and always will be.”

Misty nodded, biting her lip. Cordelia already knew the answer to her next question, but she still wished to give Misty a choice, she did not want her to feel as if she was stripping that away from her, or pressing her into anything, even more so after what she had experienced. She needed to know she was finally free once more. Free to do whatever she wished. Finally safe.

“You’re welcome to stay if you wish, for as long or as short a time as you want.”

Misty’s gaze snapped up to hers, eyes shining still, “O’ course I want to stay, Miss Cordelia.”

And even though she knew she would say that, Cordelia’s heart still gave a start, relief flooding through her.

They were almost at full capacity, there had been talk of opening a second location but it was still early days. Queenie and Zoe had already relocated to much smaller, though private, rooms of their own. Neither would be opposed to sharing, she suspected, at least on a temporary basis, but it seemed inappropriate, especially in regards to Zoe and Kyle.

“There is one bed left, but it’s with the younger girls. I’ll sort out something more suitable for you, it may just take a few days.”

“That’s fine, Miss Cordelia.” Misty’s smile grew, slightly bashful, full of emotion.

Her words came fast, “Would you like a shower? Or rest? Something to eat?”

Misty perked up at the last part, shifting to sit on the edge of the couch, “Food first. Can’t remember the last time I ate.”

Cordelia’s face fell, but Misty’s smile remained in place, unfazed. Cordelia stood, legs only slightly sore from the awkward position she had been in for so long.

“I thought that might be the case.” Zoe said behind her, “I already asked Kyle to get a few things ready for you. Bagels?”

Cordelia turned to face Zoe and Queenie, a slight frown to her face, words leaving her without thought, “That isn’t particularly healthy.”

But Misty’s enthusiastic response to the suggestion had her immediately relent.

“Never mind. You can have whatever you want.”

She looked back to Zoe and Queenie, just catching an eye roll from the latter, the gesture holding no malice. “I’ll make sure everyone keeps away for now. Give her some time, right?”

“We’ll make an official announcement later.” She looked to Misty who had moved to stand beside her, “We’ll make sure you’re comfortable first. That you’re ready.”

She tensed at an unexpected touch to her hand, but relaxed quickly. Misty squeezed her hand gently, the metal of her rings warm against her skin.

“Thank you, Miss Cordelia.” Her heart fluttered at the sincerity in Misty’s eyes. This really was real. She was back, she did not know how, but she would not question it. Not now. Fate had finally shined on her. Misty looked to the other two in the room, smile wide, heartfelt, “And the rest of you too.”

 

* * *

It had only made sense to let Misty use her own bathroom rather than one of the shared ones, to allow her some privacy and as much time as she needed. Cordelia left a couple of old t-shirts and sweatpants, found in the depths of her closet, on the bed for Misty to choose from. They would be baggy, but it would just be for a night, and they would be comfortable to sleep in.

She had left Misty to her privacy, though it had been difficult to finally get herself to do so, and arranged a last minute meeting to announce the new arrival – the return. She did not go into details, only explaining that Misty was an old member of their coven from before and had been gone for a long time, and that she should be welcomed and treated with the same respect as everyone else. And definitely no pranks. Sleeping arrangements were discussed with the younger girls who were fine with the arrangement, and then she dismissed them all to prepare for their evening meal and free time before curfew.

Misty had eaten well, so many memories stirred up just by seeing her sitting in the kitchen once again. It brought a smile to her face, but as she headed back upstairs it fell with a sharp breath, a brief flash of fear in her chest.

No. Misty would _still_ be there, she wasn’t about to vanish again.

Lips twisted with a frown, she banished those thoughts before they could take hold as she made her way down the corridor to her room.

She paused before the door, hand hovering near the handle, before she tapped lightly on the surface and slowly opened it to peek inside.

“What are you knockin’ for?” Misty was across the room, dressed now in grey sweatpants and a yellow t-shirt, her shawl still around her. She returned a book to its place in the bookcase, a slight furrow to her brow, skin still pink from her shower.

Cordelia shut the door, turning back to find Misty had crossed to her. Misty reached for her hand, the anxiousness fleeing from her face. Cordelia let herself be led to the settee and finally sat down, Misty sitting close beside her, smelling like jasmine and lavender. Her attention briefly caught on the arrangement of pink, blue, and purple anemones on the coffee table before she met Cordelia’s gaze.

“Thanks for lendin’ me somethin’ to wear.”

“I never wore them.” What kind of response was that to someone thanking her? She bit the inside of her cheek, berating herself. She had brought those clothes ready for something that had, well, it had never worked out, had it? And in hindsight, that was perhaps for the best. She had planned to throw them out a long time ago. She swallowed with a little difficulty, refocusing her thoughts on what mattered, “There is really no need to thank me, it’s the least I could do. I’ll get your clothes washed and ready for you.”

She looked around quickly, spotting what Misty had been wearing in a heap by the bathroom door, the lack of the typical care she expected from Misty had her glance linger for a moment, but it all clicked quickly.

“How are you feeling?” She asked cautiously, reaching over to gently rest a hand on Misty’s own. She had never been a very touchy person herself, truly quite reserved in that regard, even more so when blind and unable to anticipate it, not to mention the uncertainty that came with the then completely uncontrollable Sight – every touch risking her senses being assaulted (she still recalled, however, the vivid images of Misty healing a bird, a frog, an alligator, healing so much, bringing such light). But Misty had been – was – quite the opposite, had such a tactile nature, and knowing that made it easier for Cordelia to do something that would otherwise be quite difficult for her. It had come so easily with Misty. And Misty found such comfort in it.

Misty clutched her shawl more tightly around her, one hand held close to her chest, a just barely noticeable twitch to her lips.

“Better now.”

Misty turned her hand into the touch, her fingers drawing little soothing patterns over the back of Cordelia’s hand, her eyes following the swirls and lines she made.

There were so many words, so many questions, on the tip of her tongue. She held them back, not wanting to overwhelm Misty with too much at once. She glanced at her desk and her laptop over her shoulder, she never did finish reviewing the last couple of progress reports. She could not bring herself to care, her gaze was back on Misty in seconds.

“I can’t believe this is real.” Misty kept her head bowed, but her watery gaze lifted to seek out her own. She was not alone in that, but before she say just that, Misty continued, her voice still small, “I don’t know how.”

Fingers stilling, Misty lifted her head with a slight shake, and gave a small shrug of her shoulders. Her hand retreating, both now clutching at her shawl.

“I was trapped there for so long, I think, time seemed endless and yet not. Everythin’ so sudden, so sharp. I thought…” She trailed off, not out of distress, but something Cordelia couldn’t name, but one look at her and Misty found her voice, “I thought I heard somethin’ at some point, I don’t know when, or what, but it sounded like you.”

Cordelia’s teeth found her cheek again, a sharp counterpoint to the stinging in her eyes at just the memory of holding Misty in her arms, of feeling her disintegrate into nothing, even seeing her in front of her did little to take away that pain. The moment was seared into her mind, clear through touch, sound, scent.

Never again. Never.

“Then I just woke, back where I was the first time. And I came straight here.” Misty toyed with the edge of her shawl, breathing quickening, her brow furrowed and eyes squinting in deep thought, “I think I remember a light, but I’m not sure.”

“You don’t have to say any more if you don’t want to. Or can’t.” Cordelia did not hesitate this time, reaching over to brush her fingers across Misty’s red streaked, damp cheek. Misty smiled sadly, leaning into the touch, shoulders relaxing, the tight grip on her shawl loosening. “It can wait until later. Or not at all if you rather that. But remember I am here for you.”

Misty nodded, and sought out her hands, clinging to her tightly. They stayed like that until the tears stopped and Misty breathed easily once more.

Misty let go of one hand to rub at a bleary eye, blinking harshly, her shoulders drooped.

“Perhaps you should get some rest,” Cordelia suggested, though the thought of parting so soon made her breath hitch. _She’s only down the hall,_ but that did little to loosen the tightness in her chest.

Misty stifled a yawn and agreed with a timid smile.

“I’ll show you to the room. And if you need anything at all, no matter what or when, know you can come to me, any time and any place.” Misty’s lip quivered, Cordelia’s heart clenched painfully, having brought tears to Misty’s eyes once more, but she needed her to know she was not alone, “Or Zoe or Queenie. We will all do our best to help you in any way we can.”

Misty did not answer, but she did jerk her head in a nod, her tearful gaze not wavering from her own. She pushed some damp hair behind her ear, and Cordelia changed the subject to lighter matters, a little frustrated with herself for not having noticed it earlier.

“You can borrow my hairdryer you know.”

Misty responded after a brief pause, as if she was gathering her thoughts, “I prefer to let it dry naturally.”

That did not surprise Cordelia in the least, she caught her hand before it reached to push back a few wild curls – surprised by the sudden urge. It was from a need to remind herself that this was real, she told herself. That a true miracle had happened.

“If you’re sure.”

Misty nodded, tears gone but eyes still red, her lips quirking, “I’m sure.”

“But don’t go to sleep with it still damp.”

Misty grinned now and raised her eyebrows teasingly, “You’re soundin’ like a mother, you know.”

“I have a duty to all in my care.” The answered came quickly and automatically, heat creep up her neck. “You can borrow a book if you like.”

“Nah.” Misty did quickly glance at the bookshelf, her fingers twitching against Cordelia’s hand – she had forgotten she still held it. “But thanks for the offer.”

Cordelia stood first, Misty following, bare feet silent against the wood. Misty’s fingers brushed against her arm, a final thankful squeeze to her hand, and Cordelia led her to her shared room.

 

* * *

She found Misty in the shared bedroom the next morning, sitting cross-legged on her bed, head bowed and eyes closed as if in prayer. Perhaps in meditation. Cordelia’s smile grew as soon as she saw her, distracted for a moment.

“Is it alright to come in?” She asked after struggling and finally managing to give the door a light knock. She glanced around to see the room empty, the rest of the girls already at breakfast. Not unusual, it seemed to mostly be only the older girls who slept late on a Sunday.

Misty’s gaze snapped up to her, a slight flush colouring her cheeks but a smile on her lips. She hadn’t meant to startle her.

“‘Course, Miss Cordelia, it’s your house.”

Cordelia quirked an eyebrow at the teasing note in her voice, adding playfully, “I’m surprised you aren’t at breakfast, it’s not like you to miss a meal.”

Misty’s smile twitched at that, a subtle downward turn that was gone in a flash, leaving Cordelia doubting what she had seen, but the way her stomach dropped was sign enough. The apology on the tip of her tongue vanished though, when Misty looked back up at her so earnestly, gaze darting down to the large box she held and back up.

“I thought you might want this.” She lifted the box in her hands slightly as if to draw Misty’s attention to it, an awkward and completely unnecessary gesture. She sat the box down on the bed, just in front of Misty who shifted towards it slightly, gaze fixed on it as she reached for the top, but snatching her hands at the last second to instead hover eagerly nearby. The familiar, and much missed, inquisitiveness strengthened Cordelia’s smile – a feat she would have thought impossible.

“What is it?” Misty asked, tapping the plain brown box with a slim finger before patting the bed in invitation.

Hesitating for a moment, Cordelia sat on the edge of the bed opposite Misty. She looked pale, yellow t-shirt and golden hair contrasting with the familiar black shawl decorating the headboard.

“I hadn’t wanted to overwhelm you with too much yesterday, I thought you could use some time to… settle. But you will need this sooner rather than later. And I did promise.”  And it would help, she hoped – she knew, of course it would.

She prodded the box lightly, pushing it towards Misty who did not need to be asked twice. She opened the flaps and faltered for a moment, eyes widening as she looked inside.

“You kept my stuff?” Misty asked breathlessly. She reached into the box, lifting up the edge of a blue shawl, her Stevie Nicks poster, placing them carefully beside her, her hands resting back on the box, eyes tearing away from its contents to meet Cordelia’s.

“Why wouldn’t I?” It had been a given, even before she took on the difficult task of removing Misty’s belongings from her room – for the second time, and unlike the first there was no possibility of a return. A task that she did not undertake for quite a long time, and one she had refused anyone else from doing. She was still somewhat ashamed by just how sharp she had been then, but the loss had been so raw and stung so much. The thought of discarding any of her things had not even occurred to her, even when everything she had tried had failed. When hope faded. Her chest tightened at the memory. To get rid of her belongings, well that would have felt too much like giving up completely. Everything in that one box was all that had been left of Misty Day in the Academy, and had been stored in her closet for so long. Waiting for an impossibility. “I’ve kept it all safe, and though I’m sure it would all be perfectly fine, I thought it best to get all your clothes freshly laundered for you.”

She had stayed up late doing just that, as silly as perhaps that was. It could have waited, but she wanted Misty to have it all returned at once, not in dribs and drabs. What she had been wearing yesterday, however, had been stored away elsewhere – she would check with her later if she wanted it disposed of. She suspected she already knew the answer, after all, she had been wearing it for so long…

Misty’s eyes shone, Cordelia’s own prickled in sympathy. Misty lifted one hand from the box, holding it out in offering, Cordelia faltered for a moment before taking her hand, warm and real in her own.

“I don’t know how to thank ya,” Misty whispered, hold firm yet gentle.

“I haven’t done anything.”

Misty shook her head, disbelieving, as if she could see through her, as if she knew it all, “I don’t believe that.”

Why, Misty did not elaborate immediately. Cordelia wet her lip, gaze dropping to a spot beside Misty’s ear.

Misty tilted her head, to catch her eye, her smile large and the corners of her eyes crinkling – it would have been impossible not to return it.

“You held on to my things and welcomed me back with no hesitation.” Misty shook her head, smile wavering and face creasing under the weight of a sudden sorrow. Cordelia moved to sit closer, to put an arm around her, but was stopped by the box between them and Misty’s tightened hold on her hand. “I feel lost, Miss Cordelia,” Misty confessed quietly, letting her go to wrap her arms around herself in a hug, “Everything’s different. I can’t explain it.”

Cordelia stood, heart wrenching at the cry that escaped Misty when she did. She squeezed in to sit between Misty and the headboard, feeling the panic ebb, and twisted awkwardly to slip the shawl from the headboard. She brought the shawl up to wrap it around Misty, her touch lingering, a hand against one shoulder blade, the other on her upper arm. Misty breathed easier, the tip of her nose pink and her eyes shining, but her face no longer twisted in distress.

Cordelia rubbed her arm soothingly, mulling over all the possibilities of what to say, as she had all night. Misty reached up, one hand resting against the arm crossing her body, a slight tremble in her fingers.

Starting with the basics would be the best, perhaps. The last thing she wanted to do was put Misty back in a dark place, but letting those grim thoughts and memories remain unspoken and fester would only do harm. She knew that intimately.

“Do you know how much time has passed?”

Misty’s fingers twitched, her many rings pressing hard against her for a brief moment.

Misty shook her head slightly, shrugging, “I guess from lookin’ around here, quite a bit right?”

“It’s been six months.” _And seventeen days to be exact_.

Misty’s breath left her on a sharp exhale, brow furrowing but the anguish not marring her face again, “It doesn’t feel that long, and yet it feels even longer.” Her eyes squeezed close, lip twisting, “It makes my head hurt. I had thoughts, tried to, but everythin’ repeated and it left them scattered and then there was nothin’ but _it_. I think. Maybe the thoughts came later. It’s all a jumble.”

“I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through.” The words tumbled from her lips, catching slightly on the way. She bit at her cheek to stop her bottom lip from trembling, a shake to her hand.

The unfairness of it all, that of all of them it had to be Misty – an icy thought that cut through her when she thought of her other girls… but Misty was special somehow, had meant – did mean – so much, she could not lie about that. If only she had her own realisation so much sooner, then none of them would have been put at risk and made to perform the Seven Wonders. But would she have had that realisation without it? And they had been so certain…

“You’re cryin’.” Misty’s hand glided up her arm, her touch gentle on her face.

An excuse was ready on her tongue – she was simply overwhelmed, everything had crashed over her at once, she couldn’t believe it was real – all true, but something else blurted from her instead. Something that she had never said out loud even to herself.

“I should never have made you undertake the test,” her voice was strained, the words pulled from some hidden, pain filled place deep inside, “You weren’t ready.”

Misty’s touch slipped down to her shoulder, further still to her hand which had fallen from her own arm, her gaze never once leaving hers.

“You didn’t force me to do anythin’, Miss Cordelia.” Misty shook her head, lips pressed tightly into a sad smile, “Like you said, you are or you aren’t and I wasn’t. I could have refused. I could have walked away. But I didn’t.”

An unnameable emotion burst inside her at that, cheeks still hot and eyes burning, but her voice regaining its strength.

“I’m not letting you take the blame.” She raised a hand, politely silencing any protest, “No, Misty, it _was_ my fault, I accepted that, and I tried everything to make it right.”

A notable pause followed on both their parts, her stomach sinking at just how much she was revealing. And yet it was so easy with Misty, there was no shame. Her own tears were banished for the moment, but her eyes itched, and Misty’s own were wide and wet.

“Make it right?”

Cordelia dipped her head, averting her gaze as if she was a bashful child once more. She had never spoken about it, not really, perhaps she would have confided in Myrtle – she could imagine her reaction so clearly, could hear her voice.

All her potions and incantations; useless. All the books she pored over, all the research she threw herself into proved fruitless. It had not been the first time she had to replace much of her equipment, memories of glass shattering, the glimmering shards decorating the greenhouse. Everything even more intense than the last time she had tried to find her, weighted by guilt of her choices, guilt that she did not do the same for the others lost. What was the point of all her power if she could not right _this_ mistake, _this_ failure? Misty did not deserve that fate. Efforts all hidden at first, but soon becoming an elephant in the room, Queenie was better at hiding her concern, Zoe less so, her Council they may be, but she refused to burden them with her struggle, her grievous mistake and her many failures. She was well aware there should be no secrets, but this had been different. She couldn’t…

But Misty was back. Somehow. By some miracle. One she still could not believe.

“I tried to get you back,” she whispered, emotion making the words catch as she met Misty’s tearful eyes, “With everything that I could, everything I had. For so long. But I failed.”

Misty’s eyes were still wide, gaze wavering, tears spilling over.

“Really?” Her voice cracked. “For me?”

“Everything.” It felt like an admission, but of what she was unsure. Guilt seemed the most likely, or so she convinced herself.

Acutely aware of just how close they were, she pulled her hand gently from Misty’s own, her skin suddenly too hot, her palm clammy.

“Aren’t you hungry?” She asked, straightening up and ignoring the dampness on her cheeks, the redness in her eyes. Her hand brushed across the silk shawl on Misty’s back as she pulled away, their sides still pressed together, too little space to fully retreat. To clear her hazy mind.

Misty gave a little nod, plucking at where the shawl overlapped at her front. Her gaze unfocused as she was lost in her thoughts. The debate over whether to leave her to it or not was answered in seconds. Cordelia waited patiently, her hands threaded together in her lap, holding back the hint of a tremble to them. She was not sure how long passed before she looked back to Misty, skin no longer as hot as it had been, her gaze dropping to the shawl still wrapped around her.

“It’s the one Stevie gave me.” Misty said unprompted, her fingers now trailing across it, her eyes lighting up when they met her own, “For good luck.” Her fingers stilled at that, shoulders drooping. Before Cordelia could lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, Misty perked up again, but the brightness in her eyes was still dulled. However something else deep within them sparkled, something that cut Cordelia deep, but was far from painful.

One hand released her shawl, hovering, Cordelia offered her hand much as Misty had earlier, and she took it without hesitation.

“Why don’t you get dressed?” Misty’s hold tightened just noticeably, a brief flash of worry in her eyes. Cordelia smiled gently, the suggestion coming naturally, “I’ll wait outside. We’ll go together?”

Misty returned her smile, the tension in her shoulders vanishing, “I would like that.”

 

* * *

A light knocking stirred her from her sleep.

A disturbance. Something unsettled. She could feel it now licking at her skin, making her pulse spike. Slipping from her bed, Cordelia moved swiftly to the door, not impeded by the darkness.

“Sorry to wake you,” Zoe’s soft voice came as soon as the handle was turned and bright light spilled into her room. Zoe’s eyes were bleary and her brow furrowed, the absence of urgency eased the tension in Cordelia’s shoulders, but her skin still prickled.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Misty.”

Her chest tightened, heartrate picking up again, “What’s wrong?”

Zoe stepped back, and Cordelia passed her, striding quickly down the corridor.

“A nightmare from what I can tell. It caused a bit of a commotion.” She could hear the apprehension in Zoe’s voice as she added, “The other girls have been complaining. Just not to us.”

Cordelia couldn’t answer, mind whirling and a sense of urgency clawing at her chest. She had comforted girls before, bad dreams nothing new, but her attempts at reassurance – to calm her disproportionate response – fell flat.

It was only a short distance to the room, but felt much longer.

“I told the rest to go back to bed,” Queenie grumbled when they rounded the corner, Misty stood close to her, head down, another girl stood opposite the bedroom door, wringing her hands, “Suzie says it’s happened every night.”

Cordelia pressed her lips together tightly, gaze fixed on the girl, “It would have been preferable to tell one of us before now.”

The girl’s gaze snapped up at her voice, the tips of her ears pink, “I know, Miss Cordelia, but it wasn’t really bad at first, and she’s only been here a few days and the others…” The young girl ducked her head, casting a quick look to Misty, “… I’m sorry.”

Feeling terrible, Cordelia gave Suzie a small smile, trying to soothe over her sharpness. It was better they were told sooner rather than later.

“Thank you for telling us.”

“Some of the new girls have bad dreams when they first get here.” Pink faced, Suzie tugged at her flannel sleeve, voice growing quieter, “But this was different, she was throwing herself around. Started shouting. It was scary.”

It wasn’t right to talk about Misty as if she was not there. Cordelia looked to her, but she still stood wordless and head bowed. She could not recall when Misty had ever been so still, or so silent. Even when she had been blind she had felt her energy, the constant movement, the light.

“Why don’t you get back to bed,” Zoe said, looking from Suzie to Cordelia, “If that’s alright?”

Cordelia nodded, gaze still on Misty who had still not raised her head. Once the bedroom door opened and closed, she approached her carefully, hoping for her to meet her gaze.

“Misty?”

She touched her forearm lightly, but snatched her hand back when Misty recoiled. Cordelia swallowed hard, brow creasing further and pulse hard in her neck, the unexpected reaction alarming her more than anything else that night.

“Let’s go to lounge. To avoid any further disturbances.”

“I’ll make sure they all settle back down.”

“Thank you, Queenie.”

“Could do without any more interruptions,” Queenie muttered to herself as she turned to the bedroom door and the rest of them left to make their way downstairs. Despite her complaints, Cordelia could feel Queenie’s worry.

In the lounge, they switched on a couple of lamps rather than the main light. Misty sat on the couch cross legged, gaze on her hands as she toyed with one of her rings. Cordelia went to sit beside her, but stopped at the memory of her earlier reaction. Instead she choose to remain standing opposite, Zoe hovering nearby.

“Misty – ” Somehow, Cordelia managed to keep her voice even – “You know you can tell us if you’re having any trouble. Any at all.”

“We’re family here, we care,” Zoe added, glancing to Cordelia apologetically for interrupting, not that Cordelia was the least bit annoyed by it. No, but she was frustrated she had not seen this possibility, that she had not asked how she was sleeping. Any temptation to ask Misty why she had not told her was quashed quickly, she knew Misty would hear the question as an accusation and turn the blame on herself.

They both waited, concern clear on their faces. Perhaps Misty needed some time, to reflect and consider things before talking about it – but no, Misty was not like her, she clung to the presence of those she cared for, craved to find those like her, to find where she belonged (as she now had), she would not want to be left alone. And regardless, it wouldn’t be _right_ to leave her like this. She wouldn’t be able to.

“It’s…” Misty’s voice was quiet, enough that it was almost a strain to hear her clearly, “Just bad dreams. I don’t need any fuss.”

Cordelia folded her hands together to stop them forming fists, anger at herself building, “It’s been like this since you’ve been back?”

Misty nodded.

“You should have told us,” Zoe said kindly, adding in a whisper to Cordelia, “At least it’s only been a few days.”

Misty seemed to shrink in on herself, her fingers digging into her white nightgown and pulling it taut, just as Cordelia anticipated how the words would be taken. She drew in a long breath, but bit her tongue. Zoe was worried, and she did not realise what emotions her words would conjure.

She was right, however, thankfully it had only been a few days. Though that did little to lessen the heavy weight of guilt in her chest, despite Misty’s reassurance the day after her return that she was not at fault.

“If it’s causin’ trouble I could stay somewhere else.” Misty shifted in her seat, drawing her legs up to wrap her arms around them, chin resting on her knees, “Down here wouldn’t be good I guess, but there’s always out back.”

 _Out back?_ It took a moment for Cordelia to understand, and when she did her voice was stern but still gentle, her lips twitching slightly, “You are not sleeping in the greenhouse, Misty.”

“I don’t mind, honest, might feel better there…” She trailed off, and though she always did seem more comfortable around nature, something Cordelia strongly empathised with, that did not make it a suitable place for her to sleep. Not at all. Shoulders heaving with a large sigh, Misty pressed her forehead to her knees, looking smaller than Cordelia had ever thought possible.

The clock ticked along, loud in the silence. She looked to Zoe standing just a step behind her, and back to Misty’s trembling frame. Sometimes less is more.

“Why don’t you go to bed, Zoe,” she suggested gently, to hush her worry, “We’ll be fine.”

Zoe hesitated, mouth parted slightly in the beginning of a protest, before she gave a short nod and quietly left the room with a backward glance, her brow pinched. Cordelia gave her a small smile she hoped told her they would be okay.

Cordelia approached Misty carefully, the distance seeming larger than it truly was, and when Misty did not move she took it as a positive sign. After earlier, she considerately sat with some space between them, body turned to Misty who seemed to shift slightly in her seat towards her.

Her teeth cut into her cheek, words fleeing her along with the confidence she had only a few moments ago. She shivered, standing just in her nightdress, having been far too concerned to pause to put on her robe or slippers. A wave of her hand could light the fire, but she still considered such uses of magic unnecessary, frivolous. Besides, the tremble in Misty was not from the cold, otherwise she may have been tempted to break her own rules.

She spoke slowly, considering each word, no accusation held within them, “I told you to come to me – to any of us – if you needed any help at all.”

Misty turned her head slightly, cheek to her knees, eyes peeking at her through a curtain of curls.

“I understand how hard it can be to do so. To trust someone else with such difficult things.” _What an understatement, Cordelia_. “I will not judge. I never will. I’m here for you.”

Misty nodded, sucking on her bottom lip, gaze slipping away once more.

And how much Misty had shared with her only two days ago, and she her. Yesterday had been the start of a new week and she had been swept up in her duties, as she should, but it had meant far less time to spend with Misty. She needed her support. If she had been paying closer attention she would have noticed, would have seen the exhaustion in her body and her eyes.

Her teeth found the now swollen spot on the inside of her cheek, the physical pain doing little to detract from the heavy weight of her emotions – the tight knot of regret and anger at herself settled deep in her chest.

“I know.” Misty shook her head, reaching up to her shoulder but finding only her nightgown. Her hand dropped back to her lap, and for a brief moment Cordelia considered leaving to quickly find her shawl – but even if she was to transmute there, it would still be too long to leave Misty. She could not leave her right now. “I’m sorry.”

“No, Misty Day, you are not apologising for that. You have done nothing wrong.” She was stern, but her voice still soft and caring. She was not about to have Misty blaming herself for not telling her, that was just ridiculous.

There was only one person at fault. Just as there was before.

 _It was a mistake to room her with strangers._ It wasn’t possible to shuffle people around to give her a room of her own – not that she thought that was currently a good idea. She bit the inside of her tender cheek harder, a severe crease between her eyebrows. _And to not have sorted out something better by now. To not have stayed with her as much as I could have. To not have ensured she was truly alright before leaving her._

“I’m sorry, Misty. I told you I would sort out something better for you by now, and I haven’t – ” She shook her head, gaze dropping to where her hand was fisted in her lap.

Misty shook her head, lifting Cordelia’s gaze when straightened, managing a smile despite the sorrow in her eyes, “It’s only been three days, Miss Cordelia. I ain’t blamin’ you for anything, and like I told you before you shouldn’t blame yourself either. It can’t be helped.”

“Take your own words to heart Misty, you shouldn’t blame yourself for anything either,” she stressed. She doubted she would ever stop believing she was at fault for what had happened to her, and what was happening now, but Misty’s gentle insistence, the kindness in her words helped lessen the feeling somewhat. And, _oh_ , there Misty was again, comforting her when it was she who should be comforting _her_.

She shifted slightly in her seat, opening herself up more, and in a blink of an eye Misty was pressed against her side, hand closed around the one in her lap and the other slipped around her waist. The tension in her calmed quickly, her left arm sliding up Misty’s back, ending in something like half a hug. Her familiar scent, something she had never been able to give a name to, like a balm.

Silence fell over them, not uncomfortable but contemplative, Misty’s trembling lessening and the warmth of her stopping Cordelia’s own shivers. She relaxed her hand and turned it, felt Misty’s fingers sliding between her own, skin icy.

“You don’t have to tell me,” her voice was low, the little distance between them making a whisper more than sufficient, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Misty was looking intently at their joined hands, tired eyes red rimmed but no tears falling. A little crease appeared between her brow, her teeth nipping at her bottom lip, “I’m afraid that…” Her voice came clear but broken, a pause to regain her strength and she continued, “… That I’ll close my eyes and when I wake this’ll be a dream. That I’ll wake up back there.”

What could she possibly say to that? She honestly didn’t know. Her instinct, as always, was to apologise, but what would that accomplish? She could do what she always did with any girls who were upset, and listen as she had been doing. But this was no normal nightmare, it couldn’t be comforted and soothed away as they could. This was a vivid memory, one Misty had relived continuously since she was lost to her. Something like that could not be banished with kind words and a cup of hot cocoa.

“This is real, Misty,” she assured her, encouraging Misty to meet her eyes so she could see just how assured her next words were, “You will _never_ go back there. You’re safe.”

“I know,” Misty whispered, gaze not lifting, “But knowin’, and _knowin’_ is different. You can tell your brain somethin’, but it doesn’t always listen.”

“I understand that.” She rubbed soothing patterns on Misty’s back, the material of her nightgown soft under her palm, she hesitated before making her suggestion, “There’s a potion I could make, it’ll help you sleep. And stop any dreams.” Not the best solution, but it was something temporary, and with time hopefully the truth that she was truly back, truly safe, would stop the nightmares from returning. Misty’s brow furrowed further, Cordelia’s hand cautiously slid up her back, resting supportively on her shoulder, “It simply leads you to a peaceful sleep. It works perfectly. Trust me on that.”

“Thank you for the offer, but I can’t do that.” Misty shook her head, curls bouncing, sounding almost embarrassed when she added in a small voice, “I don’t like the sound of it.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Cordelia said, hoping to soothe the trepidation she heard in Misty’s voice. Everyone had their own opinions, and their own apprehensions. “What can I do to help?”

Misty bit her lip, looking up at her through her lashes, “It helps bein’ with those I know.”

 _Of course it does_. She had previously dismissed the idea of sharing with Zoe or Queenie, but if there was no other alternative then that was the only temporary solu –

_Oh._

How had that thought not occurred to her before?

_How stupid!_

“Would it help if you stayed with me?” The hesitation was clear in the slight crack in her voice, a nervousness bubbling up in her, worry perhaps that Misty would refuse. And if she did, what else could possible help her? If need be, she would stay awake with Misty for as long as she needed no matter how detrimental. If having someone with her helped, it helped.

And… why should she worry about such a thing? What mattered was helping Misty. And if that helped…

She could perhaps try to sleep on the settee in her room for the night, it wouldn’t be practical at all but if it meant Misty would sleep well then so be it. Then she would see if she could find a proper bed to put in her room tomorrow, or at the very least a camping cot but she was certain they didn’t have one of those lying around anywhere.

“I think it could.” In the dim lamplight she could see a flush of pink colouring Misty’s cheeks, her hand squeezing hers, “If it won’t be any trouble.”

“Of course it won’t be.”

Misty bit her lip again, eyes wide.

“Ready to go now?”

Misty nodded but made no move to head upstairs. Cordelia gestured towards the doorway with her head, and gave Misty a little tap on the back to encourage her to stand, she did so after releasing her hand reluctantly. She headed towards the doorway but stopped there, Cordelia followed, switching the lamps off.

A brush of fingers against her arm, and Misty’s hand clutched her own, Cordelia led her easily through the darkness back to her room.

The door shut quietly, and she switched her lamp on. Misty stifled a yawn behind her.

“You can have the bed if you like,” Cordelia called over her shoulder, already in the closet pulling out a spare blanket and pillow.

“Why?”

She placed the blanket over the back of the settee, the pillow at the head, it was too small to sleep comfortably on but she would manage. Cordelia raised her brow, looking up to find Misty already sitting cross-legged on her bed, weary eyes wide as she waited for an answer. Any hint of tears gone, a happy tilt to her lips now.

“To sleep?” She responded, a little baffled by the exchange.

Misty laughed lightly, the sound alone so light and uplifting, “No, why sleep there? This bed’s so big you could get lost in it. Don’t see why we don’t just share.”

“Umm…” The sound escaped her without notice as she stood frozen in place, unable to grasp any understandable words. Now that would certainly not be appropriate would it?

Misty tilted her head, “But I’ll stay there if you rather I did, Miss Cordelia.”

It was a moment later that Cordelia finally found her voice, “No, you don’t have to, I’m happy to sleep here.”

“No, no.” Misty shook her head, worrying her bottom lip slightly, “This is your room, and your bed, it wouldn’t be right for me to take that off ya.”

She slipped off the bed and sat on the settee before Cordelia could respond or think things through again, “It’s fine, Miss Cordelia, I’ve slept in far worse places.”

She took that as the compliment it was intended to be, and tried not to think about just where those worse places could be. She frowned at Misty sleeping in such an uncomfortable place, but what alternative was there? It would only be temporary and Misty was already curling herself up and settling down. If they found this helped Misty, she would try to sort out a second bed the next day, during her lunch break if she had to. This arrangement really should have been an idea that had occurred to her sooner.

“Good night, Misty.” She slid into bed reluctantly, and after checking Misty seemed settled and comfortable, switched the lamp off.

“Don’t worry,” Misty promised her quietly, “I’ll stay here.”

 

* * *

Misty did not stay there.

Cordelia had found herself glancing at the clock for the… well she could not remember how many times she had looked at it by that point, but it had been 3:33am for a while.

Her skin had prickled, swiftly followed by a stark whimper in the silence of the night. A bang. Then nothing.

She called Misty’s name quietly at first, called louder the second time when the only response was another whimper. The third time, when a panicked cry had split the air, was soft once more as she knelt on the hardwood floor, hand on Misty’s arm, stilling her thrashing.

Bleary, tear-filled eyes had met hers, clear in the lamplight. There had been no debating with herself for once, and with Misty’s fearful grip tight on her hand, she had led her to her bed. They climbed in awkwardly, Misty not once releasing her hand. Cordelia pulled the blankets over them, and paused before she switched the lamp off, deciding it best to leave it on. She had settled back down, Misty’s hand still in hers, and had promptly frozen, stiff as a board, when with no hesitation Misty had pressed against her, a hand on her arm and bare legs brushing against hers. She had drawn in a sharp breath, reminded herself that this was as normal to Misty as breathing, it was her nature. And she found such comfort in it. All that mattered was if it helped Misty, if it lessened her nightmares. If it stopped the night terrors.

And that is how she found herself wrapped even further up in Misty’s arms, her shoulder damp from tears. She rubbed soothing patterns along the arm thrown across her body, her own curled comfortingly around Misty’s back. She did not know how long they had been like that, she dared not look to the clock, her gaze on her bookcase, her chin resting on the top of Misty’s head.

She whispered comforting words, ignoring the tight knot in her chest and the burning in her eyes. With time the trembles wracking Misty’s frame slowed and then stopped, her fingers trailing idly along Cordelia’s ribs in an action that would have been ticklish in any other situation.

“I’m here for you,” Cordelia whispered softly into her curls, unnecessarily perhaps but she was never going to stop saying it. Misty curled tighter around her, one leg slipping over her own, breath shuddering but no words following. When she was ready they would, and Cordelia would be there to listen. Whenever that was.

In the minutes that followed she thought Misty had fallen asleep, and was just debating whether to leave the lamp on or not when she felt her shift and pull away. A chill spread through her despite the blanket and she pushed herself up to sit up as Misty was.

A sigh left Misty as she worried her lip, brow pinched. Her words leaving her with difficulty, as if she had to pull them from somewhere deep, “I keep seein’ it.”

She needn’t question just what that _it_ was.

Cordelia caught her words quickly, before they could blurt from her – a habit that had gotten better, that she thought she had vanquished entirely.

 _The burning?_ Had been the first thought to cross her mind, followed quickly by, _The coffin?_

Each possibility twisting the knot in her chest, sharp like a blade.

Misty shrugged, lips pursed, answering as if she could hear her thoughts, “School.”

“School?” Cordelia winced as the word tumbled from her lips as if she had misheard.

Misty’s lip trembled, her face falling, her bravado cracking. Cordelia was quick to move, gently wrapping her arm around Misty’s back to rest her hand on her shoulder, Misty turned into the touch.

“You don’t have to explain.”

“No, I trust you.” Their eyes locked and Cordelia’s chest warmed at the level of trust evident on Misty’s face, the openness, “I want you to know. But…” Misty trailed off, gaze turning to the ceiling, then to her bookcase before finding hers again, but no words came.

“It’s difficult I know. It’s very personal. There is no rush to explain now, it can wait.”

Misty shook her head, biting her lip and after a time beginning slowly, “I wasn’t too good at school. I wanted to learn but always found it hard. Not like with you.” She smiled at that, but it faltered before she continued, “I always seemed to get in trouble, but I never tried to, and my parents…” She sighed, eyes squeezing shut, Cordelia guided her more into her side, Misty’s hand grappled at her back, head leaning on her shoulder. “Worst was with biology. The animal dissections. I kept bringin’ the poor things back, they kept thinkin’ I was playing pranks, and then one day my teacher had enough. Made me do it – forced me.”

Misty sniffed and turned further into her, wrapping her other arm around her waist and clutching at her tightly. Cordelia’s free hand came up to rest on Misty’s shoulder, guiding her closer still.

“I had brought it back,” Misty’s voice first cracked then broke. Cordelia hushed her, trying her best to soothe the pain. Her jaw set tightly in anger at those that had done this, at herself for her failure.

“You will never experience anything like that ever again,” Cordelia promised, “No one will force you to do anything ever again. I swear it.”

Misty shook her head, a sob and her hold around her tightened, through her curls there was a hint of a smile. It was impossible for Cordelia not to return it, her face damp.

Eventually the need for sleep wore on them and they settled back down, the lamp left on for the moment. Misty was a pleasant weight against her, head nestled into her neck, arm flung over her waist, her own arm numb beneath her.

Misty calmed quickly, growing heavier as sleep claimed her. Though Cordelia’s eyes were heavy sleep did not come swiftly for her, mind busy and whirling with thoughts and emotions, exhaustion making her head ache.

Misty shifted against her, nose brushing her throat.

A shuddering gasp, the flashing of images, helplessness.

And she saw – a golden haired child, face pink, eyes red, felt the heart wrenching distress, the laughter and jeers of the others, the cold cruelty of the teacher, the terror of her parents finding out. The bruising grip. The anguished wail.

She drew in a sharp breath, blinking rapidly to see the ceiling of her bedroom once more. It had been so long since a vision had come unprompted. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, tears in her eyes as the experience and everything it brought with it settled in her mind.

“You saw.” Misty’s voice, heavy with sleep, her accent even thicker, made her breath hitch.

“Yes,” she whispered, stomach twisting, the memory an unpleasant presence in her head, as they almost all were. This, though, was one of the worst – the memory that shaped Misty’s hell. “I didn’t intend to.”

“I’m sorry,” Misty breathed the apology against her neck, her hold twitching against her side as she went to shift away.

Cordelia held her tighter, letting her know she did not need to pull away. Misty settled back against her with a slight tremble.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

The sorrow blended with the returning anger deep in her chest. An anger at those that had done this, regardless of how long ago it was. Regardless of the fact she could do nothing to them to right the wrong.

The memory so fresh, so vivid. She had seen it. Felt it. Lived it.

“They are the ones that should be apologising.”

“It was a long time ago now, it doesn’t matter.” Misty sighed, her fingers playing along the neck of Cordelia’s nightdress, “I doubt they would even remember it. Remember me. Suspect some already think I’m dead.”

Her stomach dropped further, a hard lump in her chest making each breath painful. How unfair life had been to Misty, how cruel, how uncaring. And yet despite everything she carried on, cheerful, and always trying to see the best in everyone. Even after all that time in her personal hell.

“Clearly it did matter,” Cordelia said softly, turning her head, Misty’s curls tickling her skin. “I admire your strength.”

Misty’s fingers had calmed, now trailing gentle little patterns beneath her collarbone leaving a warming feeling to blossom beneath them. It stole away the pain, the anger, the upset.

“If you ask me, you’re the strong one.”

Cordelia smiled despite herself, a small feeble smile, she would never say ignoring your own issues in favour of helping others was a sign of a particular strong person. Just a stupid one. Letting all of that build up and up…

It was different to how Misty’s concern for others outweighed her own struggles. She didn’t push it back, ignore it.

“That’s kind of you to say – ”

“It’s true. Strong and selfless,” Misty enthused, her words filled with such certainty. It made the small smile on Cordelia’s face grow. Strong and selfless was just what she wanted to be. She would be the best leader possible, she would do right by the coven and her girls. Be the leader her people deserved.

“That’s what I was thinking about you.”

Misty lifted her head, meeting her eyes as she spoke, voice leaving no room for argument, “Both of us then, if that makes ya happy.” Her smile was bright, dimples clear in the lamplight, the moment lingering before she settled back down against her. “Night, Miss Cordelia.”

“Goodnight, Misty.” She glanced at the clock, aware she was going to be more than a little exhausted tomorrow but finding she didn’t care as much as she should. “I’ll be here.”

Misty’s breathing grew deep and slow, ear over her heart, her hold on Cordelia’s side loosened but was still present. Cordelia closed her eyes and let the rhythm of Misty’s breathing lull her to sleep.

 

* * *

Misty slept peacefully through the rest of the night, not even stirring when her alarm went off – seemingly not long after they had fallen asleep. Despite how heavy her eyes were, and how very tempting it was to just ignore it, she had work to do. Checking that Misty definitely wasn’t about to wake, Cordelia carefully slipped out of her hold and from the bed. Misty stretched her arms out, finding her pillow and seizing it to clutch to her chest. Cordelia couldn’t help her smile at the sight, and after a few comforting words, she placed the blanket and pillow from the settee into the hamper in her bathroom and got ready for the day.

Once done, she quietly made her way to the room Misty had vacated yesterday. Though the sun was rising, no one stirred once she was inside. She crept to the empty bed, left in a mess from last night, and retrieved Stevie’s shawl from where it was placed neatly over the headboard. She folded it over her arm before turning to the cabinet beside the bed. She opened the first drawer only to find it empty, as was the second one. For a brief moment she remained still, a frown on her face, before she knelt down to find a familiar box beneath the bed. She slid it out and, after checking everything was in it (save for what Misty was wearing), took it with her.

Returning to her room she placed the box on the settee, and the shawl carefully on the back of it. She glanced over to Misty who was now flat on her back, one arm flung over her head, the pillow cradled against her chest.

After last night, or that morning rather, she would leave arranging a second bed for now. Misty had slept far better beside her than she had on her own, though perhaps the uncomfortableness of where she had been sleeping had a part to play in that. She would check with Misty when she woke, let her decided what she preferred.

After, she retrieved a reenergising potion from her greenhouse to combat her exhaustion, the mixture leaving an aftertaste of lemon in her mouth. She didn’t make a habit of taking such things, too many too often had been known to keep someone up days if not weeks, others came to be unable to function with it, but it was necessary that day. She had much to organise and an important meeting to attend with yet another local group of “concerned individuals”, as they liked to call themselves. She finished checking everything was in place for later, checked the news, and was just having a quick breakfast when she heard the first few girls stirring. They were soon filtering downstairs for breakfast, a few settling at the kitchen table with her, the others taking their breakfast to the dining room.

The conversation was subdued at first, but soon picked up when more girls arrived. Seeing the Academy so full of life, to see her girls happy and safe, always brought a smile to her face. She took a moment to take it all in, as she often did, cradling her empty mug between her hands.

“Is Misty okay?” She looked to her left to find Suzie, her eyes wide as she shifted awkwardly, fidgeting with her sleeve.

“She’s okay.”

Suzie smiled at that, her movements calming, she quickly wished her good morning when she realised she hadn’t, and rushed over to the toaster.

Cordelia checked her watch, cleaned her plate and disappeared upstairs to make sure the rest of the girls got their breakfast before the first lessons started. As she finished doing so, she bumped into Zoe who had a stack of papers in her arms.

“Is everything alright?” Zoe asked, shifting the papers, her brow creasing.

“I think so,” Cordelia confessed, stepping to the side as a few girls bolted past them. “As much as can be expected.”

“But she’s alright now? After last night?”

A smile found its way to Cordelia’s lips, warmth in her chest at the image in her mind, “Sleeping soundly.”

“I’m glad.” Zoe’s shoulders dropped, a smile on her lips, “Are you sure you don’t want one of us at the meeting today.”

“While I would appreciate the support I think it is far less… intimidating for them to only have me.” Cordelia crossed her arms, stomach flipping at the thought, no matter how many of these she did her nerves never changed, “Besides, you will both have your hands full today. Best to keep the girls occupied on a school day, we know what idle hands get up to.”

Zoe’s lips quirked at that, a nervous laugh leaving her, “Yeah. Best we avoid upsetting the neighbours again.” Her gaze dropped to her watch and her face fell, “Crap I didn’t realise the time.” She took briskly down the corridor, calling back over her shoulder, “I hope it goes well!”

Cordelia headed back downstairs too, her pace far more leisurely. She checked the dining room first, telling the girls still there that they had only ten minutes until their first lesson. A few of the girls who were still in their pajamas jumped up and darted out of the room, Cordelia collected their abandoned plates with a sigh and took them to the kitchen. She noticed that Suzie was still hovering around, and told her and the few girls that remained that they had only ten minutes. She placed the plates on the side ready to wash up – she didn’t think it right to leave all the work to Kyle all the time. She had considered hiring some more staff, but the girls mostly did their own chores making it unnecessary. They had to learn those skills as much as their magic after all.

She had just turned off the faucet, steam rising from the filled sink, when she turned to spot a bleary-eyed Misty in the doorway.

“I overslept,” she grumbled, rubbing at her eyes, her shawl slipping down her shoulder as she did. She wandered over to Cordelia, peering over her shoulder curiously, standing so close she could feel her warmth against her back. If it had been anyone else she would have put distance between them, but there was no such discomfort with Misty.

“You don’t have to get up so soon if you’re still tired,” Cordelia whispered to her, not wanting any of the other girls still there getting ideas. Misty had been sleeping so peacefully it seemed a shame that it had been broken. Hopefully tonight would bring the same restfulness.

“Nah.” Misty shook her head, “I like to be up with the sun.”

Yawning, she moved away and dropped into a chair. Cordelia could just see her from her position at the sink. Even though only a few days had passed, she seemed more comfortable around the other girls now, though still a little unsure, of course there were only a few others around at the moment so perhaps that helped.

Suzie appeared at Misty’s side, a plate in hand, speaking in a rush of words, “I made you a bagel. You like cream cheese right?” She placed the plate down in front of Misty. “I hope you’re feeling okay!”

Suzie ducked her head, ears pink, and scurried away to finally prepare for her first lesson.

Misty looked a little taken aback, staring after the girl and then down at the bagel. It didn’t take her long to start eating the first half, a smile on her face.

The kitchen was now empty of students and the dishwasher mostly filled. She could have easily have used that instead of washing up the plates, but she admittedly preferred the old fashioned way, and it meant she could linger that bit longer with her girls. She placed the last plate to dry in the rack, and pulled the plug in the sink, the clock in the foyer chiming nine o’clock. She needed to get moving soon, but she took the chair next to Misty. Surely she could spare a few minutes for her.

“How did you sleep?”

“Better,” Misty said around a mouthful of food.

Despite knowing that was the case, hearing it still had Cordelia smiling broadly.

“Would you rather I arrange a second bed for tonight or…”

“I think I rather share,” Misty said without a moment of hesitation, swallowing hard before adding almost sheepishly, “For now, if that’s alright?”

“That’s fine.” Cordelia brushed some wild curls behind Misty’s ear, unable to resist the urge this time. It came so naturally. “After all,” she added teasingly, “It _is_ big enough to get lost in.”

Misty grinned, “Never seen one so big. Seems mighty greedy to keep it all to yourself.”

Misty quickly finished her bagel and looked at the counter behind them seeking out more. Cordelia’s chair scraped against the floor as she stood to fetch one for her, pausing a moment with one in hand, before placing it back in the bowl and bringing that to the table instead.

Misty’s eyes lit up the sight of the bowl, grabbing a bagel from it and then pulling a few of the jars on the table over to her. She froze for a moment before grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl for good measure. Cordelia fetched a few pieces of cutlery and placed them beside Misty, but remained standing, her hand on the back of Misty’s chair.

“I’m afraid I have a meeting today, but if you need anything ask Zoe or Queenie. And if needs be, ask them to call me, okay?”

She would drop it in an instant if Misty needed her.

“You’re awfully busy now,” Misty said not for the first time, looking at the bagel and then the cutlery with a frown. She placed it back, picking up the banana instead, “Guess it comes with the Supremacy, right?”

Cordelia nodded but held back a sigh, “I have a responsibility to our people, and I will do the best that I can for everyone.”

As Supreme, and with the Academy full, it was no surprise that she had far less free time than when she had just been a headmistress with less than a handful of students.

“Though I do miss having plenty of spare time to spend in the greenhouse.” She shook her head, biting her lip. Perhaps she was dragging her feet a little, in truth she did not want to leave Misty alone again ( _but she won’t be alone will she?_ ), “I will be back as soon as I can. Remember you can sit in on one of the lessons if you like.”

Misty nodded, a small smile on her face, banana in hand, “I hope whatever it is goes well.”

“I hope so too.” She glanced down at Misty’s empty plate and the cutlery she had pushed away with her elbow. Without a word Cordelia took her plate, a couple of bagels, and the knife from the table. She quickly cut all of the bagels in half and brought the plate back to Misty. She dropped the knife into the dishwasher, closed it, and turned it on.

Misty thanked her and bid goodbye, having happily grabbed a spoon to smear the jam awkwardly on one bagel half.

Cordelia made a note to get pre-cut bagels in future.

 

* * *

“Hey, Cordelia.”

Having only just stepped through the door after her meeting, Cordelia drew in a sharp breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. Despite everyone’s best wishes and even though she had expected as much, the meeting had turned out to be quite stressful to say the least. The last thing Cordelia needed now was some sort of emergency. Even more so after finding Misty in such a state last night. Though she seemed far better that morning Cordelia had still not wanted to leave her for too long, unfortunately the meeting had lasted far longer than estimated. But her duty was her duty, and she would bare the burdens – though that did little to lessen the tightness in her chest. Hopefully the concerns would remain quietened down for the moment.

She finished putting her coat away and turned to face Queenie.

“Woah, calm down,” Queenie chuckled around her words, Cordelia quickly smoothed her expression having not realised the strength of her glare. “No one’s set fire to the bookcase again. Or next door’s tree. And Misty’s fine.”

Queenie held up a small device and waved it at her.

“I’ve got it all sorted.”

Relief swept away the tension in her limbs, a grateful smile replacing the tight press of her lips, “Thank you, Queenie, I really appreciate you doing that for me.”

She took the iPod and turned it over in her hands, it was an old device that was unwanted by one of the girls. Rather than discard unwanted belongings or old clothes, as the more privileged girls were more likely to do, she encouraged them to give such belongings to her and she would distribute it out to the less privileged girls, or to charity if no one wanted it – building up goodwill in the local community was certainly beneficial for all concerned. It seemed to work well, and they were all more prone to doing so on their own initiative now. After all, they were like one big family.

Queenie shrugged, “Hey, what’s your Council for if not to help?”

Though a little sarcastic, her tone held no resentment, her lips tugged up into a knowing smirk (though what exactly she knew, Cordelia could not begin to guess).

“Well I’ve certainly asked for worse.”

Queenie muttered around a snort of laughter, “Hell yeah you have.”

“And you’ve both only ever complained a little. I’m very impressed,” Cordelia teased, the steady press of stress in her head fading, “Where is she?”

Realising that was a bit vague, Cordelia was just about to clarify who she meant when Queenie answered without any hesitation, “Getting upset over a nature documentary last I saw.”

This time Cordelia did mean to give her a stern look.

“I’m not joking.” Queenie turned, indicating for her to follow, “And no, she didn’t join in on any lessons again. But it hasn’t been that long really.”

No. No it hadn’t been. And yet all those days with her absence so stark felt so long ago now. She could scarcely believe it.

They did, indeed, find Misty in the lounge sitting cross-legged on the couch, intently watching some lion cubs playing together on the TV.

“At least it’s not a dead zebra again,” Queenie muttered.

Misty straightened, having heard them but not what was said judging by the smile on her face when she turned to look at them.

“Miss Cordelia, you’re back!” Misty twisted further, rising up to kneel on the couch, leaning on the back to look at them, “I’ve been in the greenhouse most of the mornin’ and the plants are doing well. I think they miss you though.”

Cordelia’s smile broadened, her heart warming. When she had told Misty she would be out for most of the day she hadn’t expected her to do anything like that. Especially after last night… then again, Misty did always seem at home there. Cordelia had no doubt in her mind that some time with nature would help her. She needed to make some time for just the two of them, perhaps Misty would feel like restarting their private lessons once again – God knows she misses being able to spend so much time in her beloved greenhouse, and teaching someone as passionate as her in botany. Not many of the girls opted for her lessons, thankfully in one way, as two lessons a week was the norm and her time was stretched at present, but it was also such a disappointment.

“Thank you, Misty. I appreciate you doing that for me.”

Misty rested her chin on her folded arms, returning her smile. A familiar light was slowly returning to her eyes, one that was so soothing.

“Cordelia got you something.” Queenie’s voice startled her from her thoughts.

“Oh yes.” Face flushing, Cordelia cleared her throat, and fumbled with the device before handing it off to Queenie, who with a roll of her eyes, took it over to Misty.

Misty eagerly stretched her hands out to accept it, her expression soon clouded with confusion as she stared at the iPod and the earphones that were plugged into it.

“A… music player?”

Queenie’s expression clearly revealed just what she was thinking, but she held her tongue.

“It’s an iPod,” Cordelia explained gently, “I know how much you like your music and thought you must be missing it.”

“Oh, it looks different to the ones I’ve seen before.” Misty shifted on her knees, a flash of excitement in her eyes, her hold on the iPod tightening.

“It’s fairly new.” Queenie shrugged, “Not everyone can get the newest models of everything.”

“I ain’t had one before. Prefer my tapes.” As soon as the words left her, Misty’s face turned red and she ducked her head. Cordelia’s stomach dropped, of course she had thought of that, but the tape player amongst Misty’s belongings was smashed beyond repair and she had not had the chance to find a replacement yet. She had thought this as a temporary measure would suffice, but perhaps something older would have been better. Who is she kidding, of course it would have been! But then Misty looked up at her, that familiar shine of appreciation in her eyes and that voice inside that berated her fell silent. “Thank you, for thinkin’ of me like that.”

Something in Cordelia’s stomach fluttered, her face heating, her gaze jumped to Queenie who stood with her hands on her hips.

“Queenie kindly put as many songs on it as she could get.”

“Kinda funny to think ya can fit loads of songs in somethin’ like this?” Misty’s tongue peeked out, her eyes lighting up as she just barely held off from prodding at the screen.

“Girl,” Queenie drawled, chuckling lightly, “That’s the real magic.”

Misty shook her head, a little crease appearing between her brows and a slight purse to her lips – a sure sign that she was embarrassed.

“How do I get it to play?”

Queenie held out a hand, but had to coax Misty further into finally handing her the iPod back.

“Put the earphones in first.”

Misty picked up one of the earphones, lips pressed down in a small frown, “They’re kinda weird though, and uncomfortable, not like proper chunky ones.”

Queenie rolled her eyes, and sighed. “Look, just put them in your ears and then I’ll get the music playing.”

Misty did not need to be told twice, both earphones pushed into her ears in seconds. Her nose scrunching up. “Yeah, they’re uncomfortable.”

Queenie rolled her eyes and pushed something on the device and Misty’s eyes widened and her expression relaxed, her mouth parting in amazement.

“Stevie…” she breathed, hands scrabbling for the iPod, and blindly pushing at the screen, her expression dropping. “It stopped! How do I get it to play again? How do I turn it up?”

“Don’t just press at it like that!” Queenie shook her head, exasperated, taking the device from Misty’s hands again, “Look, I’ll show you how to use it.”

Misty nodded rapidly, threading her fingers together to stop her from doing anything else, a little furrow to her brow showing she was listening intently.

With a warmth in her chest and her gaze lingering on an ecstatic Misty, Cordelia turned and left them to it.

 

* * *

The following weekend found them in the kitchen, the bright light of the rising sun shining in through the windows as they shared a quiet breakfast before the first of the girls woke and began trailing downstairs.

Movement to her right had Cordelia glancing up from her tea just in time to catch a glimpse of Zoe giving Kyle a nudge before disappearing from the kitchen. He avoided her questioning gaze, face a little flushed, as he focused his attention on Misty who was intently scooping up every last bit of jelly that had spilled on her plate.

For a moment Cordelia considered giving the clearly embarrassed boy some privacy, but it would be a lie if she said she wasn’t curious about what was going on. His gaze flickered to her and away, a bag clutched tightly in his hand, but he did not seem too put off by her presence so she stayed put.

“Misty?” His voice cracked a little. Misty looked up, her finger still in her mouth, a long pause followed before she slowly released it and reached for a nearby napkin to wipe her hand.

Cordelia was just about to reassure Misty that he wasn’t going to scold her for eating with her hands, but thought better of interrupting.

When nothing more happened, Misty briefly looked towards Cordelia and back before asking, “Yeah?”

“I…” His brow furrowed, chest raising and falling with a deep breath, “I never did thank you for what you did for me.” He shuffled awkwardly, dipping his head bashfully, “And I wanted you to have this. To say thank you, and sorry. Like _really_ sorry.”

He held out the bag in his hand and Misty took it, peeking inside, her eyes growing as large as the smile on her face.

“It’s as close to the one I broke as I could find.”

 _The one he broke?_ They never did explain everything that went on with him, and Cordelia didn’t see it her place to question them relentlessly at the time. Still, there were many unanswered questions.

Misty’s excitement was infectious, making them all smile widely.

Misty’s excitement was infectious, making them all smile widely. She pulled a tape player from the bag, practically bouncing in her seat. The pieces connected quickly. That explained – at least in part – the smashed one she had kept amongst her belongings. Shamefully, Cordelia had not been able to sort one out herself as she had planned to. She hadn’t thought to discuss it with the others, though now it was obvious that she had not needed to.

An indescribable noise escaped Misty as she jumped to her feet and threw her arms around Kyle, babbling her thanks in a messy rush. He was just about to return the hug when Misty declared, “I’m gonna get my tapes!”

And she was gone in a flash, the distance sound of bare feet quickly fading away.

“Well,” Cordelia said slowly, just realising the true strength of her smile, “I think she liked it. That was kind of you Kyle.”

He pushed his floppy hair out of his eyes, giving a self-conscious shrug, “It’s the least I could have done.”

Zoe poked her head around the corner of the kitchen doorway, “You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was to find that.”

 

* * *

After a few complaints, Misty begrudgingly stuck to using the iPod around others. _Stevie should be shared_ , she had declared passionately, _can’t you feel her words in your soul?_ But she understood, in a way, that not everyone was as keen as her. And if everyone played their music out loud it would soon be more than a little bit chaotic, and headache inducing. Still, Cordelia let Misty know she was free to use her tapes at a reasonable volume in their – her room. And in the greenhouse if no lessons were going on. Something Misty was most grateful for if the tightness of her hugs were anything to go by. They were even tighter than the hug Misty gave her when she brought her a “proper” pair of headphones for the iPod.

 

* * *

Cordelia watered the pot of white heather on her coffee table and returned the watering can to its place in the closet. As she placed it beside an empty vase, her eyes landed on the small section in the closet now filled with Misty’s clothes, bringing an even stronger smile to her face. Misty had finally felt comfortable enough to unpack after only a couple of days in her room, now there were only a few assorted belongings left in the box kept beneath her clothes.

They still shared a bed, Misty’s sleep now rarely disturbed by nightmares. She supposed sharing a bed was normal amongst friends and siblings, she simply had no previous experience with either. And she had not shared her bed since… well, she prefer not to give that much thought. At the end of the day, it really did seem to help Misty and that was what truly mattered, and it was something she herself had grown used to quickly, in fact, dare she say she quite enjoyed the closeness.

A flood of icy shame came at that thought. Cordelia frowned at the box on the floor, her lips pressed together tightly. Nothing was meant by Misty’s touchiness, their closeness –

Then, she wondered, why did she need to keep reminding herself of that?

Hands fisted at her sides, she banished that thought from her mind and left the closet, occupying her mind by tidying the already pristine looking bed.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” She looked up to find Misty strolling out of the bathroom, curiously lifting up the glasses to peer through the lens, she squinted harshly and pulled them off immediately. Cordelia pursed her lips, trying in vain to hold in a laugh.

“I don’t. Not anymore anyway.” It was perhaps a little silly to have kept them. Perhaps part of it was a comfort thing, she had after all spent her whole life wearing glasses and contacts before her rise. She still found herself reaching for them sometimes.

“Bet they would have suited ya.” Misty fiddled with the arms of the glasses, a distant look in her eyes as she jerked them back and forth. Cordelia quickly reached her and gently took the glasses from her to prevent any damage, ignoring just how hot her face had grown.

Snapping back to attention, Misty breezed past her heading for the bedside table to retrieve her rings and other jewellery from the trinket dish Cordelia had brought her some time ago. Cordelia returned her glasses to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, hearing the beginning of _Talk To Me_ (if she remembered the name correctly), and emerged to find Misty perched on the bed, brushing her damp hair and singing quietly to herself.

She seemed so at home.

For a moment Cordelia found herself simply watching her, smiling softly.

It almost felt as if this was how it had always been for them.

It was as the song entered its second chorus that Cordelia finally moved to her desk. She would often finish off work in her room, especially at the weekends, as she was far less likely to be interrupted. Since Misty’s return she found she had been prone to doing even more work in her room.

“I have personal assessments to do today so will be busy until this evening,” she explained as she did every morning, the knot of anxiety she always felt at leaving Misty alone had lessened with time. And Misty had improved so much.

“That why so many of the girls are in a flap?” Misty quirked her eyebrows, an amused tilt to her lips.

“It’s nothing for them to stress over,” Cordelia said exasperated, leafing through the stack of folders on her desk, “I have honestly lost count of the number of times I’ve told them that.”

Misty laughed, nipping at her bottom lip, “I’m sure I’ll find somethin’ to do.”

“You can always sit in on one of the lessons.”

To no surprise Misty shook her head, “I prefer the greenhouse.”

“I’ll make some time for you soon, I promise,” she said with as much conviction in her words as she had. She meant it, truly. She pushed down her frustration that thus far she had been unable to keep her promise, but she could not dismiss her commitments no matter how much she would like to for Misty. And, at least, Misty had begun to sit in on her lessons (if no one else’s), which was something. The bright eagerness shining in her eyes, it warmed her heart, even if Misty held back and simply watched.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Misty placed her bush down, hair damp, black feathers just noticeable through her curls. “But I get that your super busy now. I can wait for ya.”

Cordelia nodded, turning back to her task and picking out the folders of the girls to be assessed. She quickly checked her emails and closed her laptop.

“Don’t forget to eat, Miss Cordelia. I know what you get like.”

Cordelia shook her head, folders held to her chest, an embarrassed flush of pink colouring her cheeks. “Thank you for the reminder.” She sobered, adding with a soft smile, “You do know you don’t have to keep calling me that.” They were far beyond the need for such formalities. They were friends… very close friends – that seemed the most appropriate description.

“It’s only right to be respectful.” Misty trailed her fingers over one of her many bracelets, saying with upmost seriousness, “I may not be educated, but I know manners.”

Cordelia frowned, not at Misty, but at the implication carried in her words, “I don’t know who told you that you aren’t educated, and I know it is easily said, but please don’t think that, Misty. You should give yourself more credit. Everyone is different, everyone has areas they excel in, areas they have extensive knowledge in, and those they don’t.”

At Misty’s nonchalant shrug, Cordelia placed the folders on her desk, and crossed to sit beside her on the bed. As expected Misty turned to face her as soon as she did, her knee knocking against Cordelia’s leg and then staying there, always seeking contact, however small.

“For example, I wouldn’t have been able to survive on my own in the swamp like you did. And I may have a natural affinity for botany and potioncraft,” Cordelia continued, the words coming to her with no thought and leaving her so easily, the truth in them evident, “But I still had to learn and be taught, but you were able to teach yourself so much with no guide, not even a book, and you’ve made concoctions like I have never seen before.”

And it truly was so very impressive. Astounding even.

Misty’s lips pursed as she tried not to smile, a familiar little crease between her brow, “I still got a lot to learn, Miss Cordelia.”

“And I from you.”

Misty looked down, sucking her bottom lip, her cheeks turning a deep red, “You really think that?”

“I know it.” She let the moment linger, to give time for her words to truly sink in, catching Misty’s hand and giving it a supportive squeeze. She glanced to the clock, her stomach dropping a little, “I better go or I’ll be late for the first assessment.”

Misty nodded, a slower song playing now, and Cordelia stood and collected the folders from her desk.

“Don’t forget to get somethin’ to eat first,” Misty called from behind her.

With a pleasant warmth in her chest, she slipped into her heels and headed for the door, but not before pausing to look at Misty over her shoulder, “Oh, and Misty?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t think I missed that ‘Miss’ there.”

“Gotta be polite,” Misty insisted, already standing to head to her tape player, no doubt to turn it up once she was gone. “‘sides, you are the Supreme.”

Cordelia shook her head, but was unable to shake her smile.

 

* * *

“This is as far as you can go with a car!”

Cordelia was unable to hide her smile at Misty’s impatient shifting in her seat, blue eyes wide and gaze darting around as if she was trying to take in as much of their surroundings as she could. The car rolled to a gentle stop, Misty already trying the door handle, brow furrowed in puzzlement until Cordelia switched the engine off and the door unlocked. Misty was outside in a flash, a distracted apology on her lips as she bolted away.

Cordelia gave a short shake of her head, smile still in place. Misty’s exhilaration and elation palpable in the air around them, and so very contagious. She slipped out of the car, closing her door gently and paying little mind to the mud splashed up the side of the not long ago cleaned and polished car. She pulled out a cooler from the back, and closed the passenger door on her way past, clicking the keys to lock the vehicle.

The sound of nature was all around them, the sun bright, but the heat and humidity not as unpleasant as it could be.

Prior commitments, and the more than occasional urgent development had meant she had not been able to do this as soon as she would have liked or had planned. On the one hand, the time had allowed Misty to settle, on the other, this was somewhere very important to her, somewhere she had a deep connection with. The place of her rebirth twice. She should have brought her sooner.

She had planned it some time ago, but it was not until that very Sunday that she finally had the opportunity to enact it. As soon as she made the suggestion to Misty she was almost out of the door immediately. She had to stop her, and remind her to finish dressing and grab some shoes, at the very least. Misty had simply responded with an, “Oh right,” but even then had taken as little time as possible to get ready for their trip.

She found Misty crouched down a short distance from the car.

“Misty?” She queried as she approached her, thinking perhaps she had found something. Or was simply enjoying the feel of the grass – it wouldn’t be the first time she had done that.

Misty glanced up as she came to a stop beside her, Cordelia finally seeing what she was doing. One of her boots was abandoned before her, her hands currently occupied with the laces on the other. Cordelia raised a brow, though Misty knew this place far better than she, her concern still crept into her voice.

“Is that a good idea, Misty?” The first boot was soon joined by the second and a pair of mismatched socks. “You could tread on something.”

“Don’t worry so much.” Misty waved off her concern, a humoured lilt to her words, “I won’t tread on nothin’.”

Cordelia pursed her lips, “It’s your decision.” And at the end of the day, if some malady did occur – however much she would prefer it didn’t – they would be able to deal with it between themselves, she _was_ the Supreme after all, and Misty’s gift for healing was unparalleled.

Still, that didn’t lessen her worry too much, despite her reassurances.

Misty shoved her socks into her boots and stood with them gripped in one hand.

“That’s better,” she sighed, wiggling her toes in the grass and bouncing on her heels. She took a deep breath, appreciating their surroundings, before lurching into motion once more. She grabbed her hand, catching Cordelia by surprise as she led her along at speed. “Follow me!”

Misty was practically skipping, a laugh escaped Cordelia as she struggled to keep up, Misty was buzzing with energy, her hand warm in her own, the contact brief. It tugged at her chest when Misty’s fingers slipped from her own, Cordelia unable to keep up with Misty’s quick pace and bouncing to and fro.

Misty pointed out plants of interest and the names of birds overhead, calling them over her shoulder or walking backwards to look at her as she spoke, her pace never once faltering or stumbling.

The feeling in the swamp was hard to describe. The air itself carried a sense of magic, natural and primal and holding a protective light. Not unlike the feel of Misty’s own. Or perhaps the magic she could feel _was_ Misty’s own, enhanced so strongly by the nature she so felt at home with. She seemed to glow even brighter there. A sense of comfort blanketed them, a warming feeling that cocooned them, it made her feel safe, not unlike the feeling she had when she was shut away from everything in the safety of her greenhouse, lost in the study of her plants or brewing a new potion – something she had so little time for now. She understood completely why Misty loved the swamp so, and she had come to feel the same. She drew it all in on a deep breath of her own, the scent of the earth and the plants, as she followed in Misty’s footsteps along the not unfamiliar path.

The only time Misty paused was brief. She stopped where the sun shone down brightly through a break in the canopy, twirling in her dark green dress, face flushed, basking in their surroundings.

Cordelia could only watch, a flutter in her chest, the sight almost otherworldly.

It took her a second to notice when Misty set off again, and she followed quickly, cooler in hand.

“The plants have grown so much,” Misty said as if to herself, brushing her fingers against the trunk of a cypress tree, Spanish moss hanging from its branches. Misty did not sound saddened by her observation, if anything she sounded pleased.

Of course, this wasn’t only the first time Misty had been back here since her time in hell. But also since the attack on her that first made her flee to the Academy. Cordelia frowned at the thought, stomach turning unpleasantly.

She had waited more than long enough to come back.

“Damn it,” Cordelia grumbled a moment later, catching sight of a red lump on her arm which immediately began to itch. Noticing one led to noticing another, and another. She should have gone for a blouse with full length sleeves rather than one with three quarter length sleeves.

She hadn’t seen the damn insects, but clearly they had found her at some point. They had always liked her. What a time to not bring her homemade insect repellent, or even just apply it before leaving, the thought really should have occurred to her but Misty had been so eager to get going that it was all she could do to remember the cooler.

Unsurprisingly, Misty seemed unaffected by any such irritations.

She stopped herself from scratching the bite on her arm, the cooler knocking against her leg. Magic could easily deal with the bites, but it would certainly be irresponsible for her to use her magic for something so trivial. Besides, they would heal quickly – far quicker for her now than for another. Still, that didn’t stop them from being any less an annoyance for the moment.

“Got stung by somethin’?” Misty had finally come to a complete stop, her shack just around a bend and through the undergrowth, still hidden from view for the moment, her eyes so very bright.

“Or bit.”

“Scratchin’ will make it worse, I’ve got some balm in the shack that’ll work a treat on it and keep ‘em away. It ain’t far now.” She turned her gaze briefly over her shoulder, fingers playing with her shawl’s tassels, lips turning down just slightly, “If the balm’s still there.”

A brief moment of thought, and she brightened, turning on her heel to push through the undergrowth.

“If not, I can always whip up some more,” she cheerily called over her shoulder.

Moments later the peacefulness was interrupted with what could only be described as a squeal. Cordelia laughed to herself as Misty barrelled towards the door of her former home. Somehow Misty managed to resist barging in, bouncing from foot to foot in front of the door as she waited for Cordelia to join her.

When she did, Misty dropped her boots beside the door, pausing with her hand on the wood and taking in a long breath. The abrupt pause in Misty’s energetic movements was jarring, Cordelia struggled to keep her knowing smile contained.

Cordelia left the cooler beside Misty’s boots in the shade of the porch. On such a lovely day it seemed a shame not to eat outside, even with the risk of the biting insects finding her, though Misty’s concoction should negate that risk. She looked out on to the calm water, and back to find Misty had straightened, her anxiety vanished as she pushed open the door and bound inside.

Cordelia followed her, leaving the door open, and found Misty frozen in the action of reaching into the bag hanging at her side. She looked from the one side of the room to the other, with her back to her Cordelia could not see her expression, but she could picture it in her mind so very vividly.

“It’s…” Misty tilted her head in thought, whirling around to look at her curiously, “You…”

“I ensured it was looked after,” she admitted, looking away slightly to a point just over Misty’s shoulder. Despite preparing herself for this, she found she was bashful quite suddenly. She folded her hands together, lips twitching slightly. “Just in case.”

She could not avert her gaze for long, eyes finding Misty’s seconds later. Misty’s smile was touched, her dimples prominent as it morphed into a large grin.

“A few things were replaced.” Cordelia’s gaze darted briefly to the bed, recalling the pellets that had been imbedded in it and the wall behind. Cordelia pressed her lips into a tight line, fighting off her darkening mood. Her gaze met Misty’s glistening one, looking more comfortable than she had ever seen her, and Cordelia’s smile returned, “But I tried to keep everything as it should be for you.”

Misty was in front of her in a flash, enveloping her in a tight hug, words breathed against her neck, “You didn’t say.”

Cordelia circled her arms around Misty, hiding her quivering smile and flushing face in Misty’s curls, “I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

Misty laughed, a sound that carried so much warmth, and pulled back from the hug.

“Right, gotta sort out those bites!”

Misty moved away quickly, face set determinately. It had been a quite a while since Cordelia’s last visit and everything was as it was. It had been many months ago that she had approached Zoe and asked her about Misty’s shack, she had asked no questions, just kindly offered to take her to see it if she so wished. Though the shack was hidden away in the depths of the swamp, she had – to be doubly sure that it would never be found again – placed a simple deterrent enchantment on the surrounding area on that first visit.

The danger of the witch hunters was long gone, but she would never let anything like that be repeated. She would keep Misty safe. She would keep all of her girls safe.

Misty was crouched down, rummaging around in a worn cabinet, the sound of clinking jars and her soft muttering filling the shack. Cordelia looked around, though she did not need to familiarise herself.

There had been no body to bury, no grave, not even a single picture to cherish. But there had been her home here. When Cordelia had first arrived there, light creeping through gaps in the walls, a large beam shining in from a hole in the roof, and surveyed the damage, she knew she had to do something. There had been no debate. Cordelia had decided in an instant that she would keep it ready, care for it, keep it safe – as if she was only waiting for Misty to return. Or perhaps it was more as a monument to her. Nothing had been done then, she simply thanked Zoe, made note of what she needed, and they left soon after.

Until recently she had made sure to visit once a month at the very least. It was down in her schedule as ‘Reflection’, though she was not always able to take that time as she hoped. Zoe knew, though she never mentioned it, and as such she was sure Queenie did too. In fact there had been more than a few occasions that they had stressed that she needed some time to herself and practically forced her out the door, stressing that as her Council they would handle things for her. Just like today.

They were right, of course, she was well aware that she bogged herself down with far too much more often than not. There were so many more of them now, and she wanted to help as many of their people as she could. As she should. Coming here, it did help her, so like her greenhouse and yet so different. Orderly versus wild, both holding their own specialness. To be surrounded by nature, lost in it, helped her reflect. To think of Misty, to be surrounded by reminders of her…

“Aha!” Misty stood up triumphantly, a small glass jar in her hand. She moved silently over the floorboards to offer it to her, “Works a treat.”

Cordelia turned the old jar of Smucker’s grape jelly in her hand, the substance inside was thick and a murky green-brown, Misty watched her closely, fingers twitching to help, which is just what she did when Cordelia struggled to unscrew the lid. With no hint of effort, Misty succeeded immediately and handed the jar back.

Cordelia brought the jar up to her nose, “Is that thyme I can smell?”

“Yep, and some witch hazel, some mint, bit of honey and garlic,” Misty said as she counted each ingredient off her fingers.

“I find a base of lavender is a good repellent.” Cordelia sat in the large wicker chair in the corner of the room, and dipped her fingers into the thick oil like substance and carefully began to apply it to her bites, “Though I have to admit I do usually use calamine lotion for the bites.”

“Oh it definitely works, and for stings too,” Misty emphasised.

“I don’t doubt that.”

Misty straightened up at that with a broad grin, her chin lifting.

The sounds of nature filtered in, stronger with the door open, and for a moment Cordelia let her eyes slip shut to relish it. The calls of birds, the singing of the cicadas, and the sounds of Misty moving around.

Opening her eyes, her gaze slid to Misty, observing her carefully as she bounced around propping open the shutters to let even more light pour in. The warmth in Cordelia’s chest flourished and she turned back to her task.

Misty finally pulled what she wanted from her bag, setting her tape player on the bedside table – tape already in place – and hitting play. Stevie Nick’s dulcet voice soon filling the air. A sigh, and Misty stood for a moment, eyes closed and body swaying just noticeably as she breathed out slowly, lips tugging up into a soft smile. Cordelia found she couldn’t look away, a familiar but unnamed tug in her chest.

Happiness that Misty seemed so at peace, she decided, after all it was a feeling that permeated the air. _Was this what it was like for Misty when she lived here_? Cordelia wondered, enjoying the sense of peace and freedom.

“... _maybe twice_ ,” Misty sang beneath her breath, continuing to sing softly as she finally moved, busying herself with searching for something else.

Cordelia finished applying the concoction to all her bites, and when satisfied, she looked around for where to put the jar. Misty appeared before her with an old cloth for her to clean her hands, and took the jar from her.

“Better?”

“Much.” Cordelia couldn’t shift her smile. “Perhaps you should bring some of those back?” She suggested when Misty crouched down to put the jar back. “I will make some time, and you can show me what some of your other concoctions can do? We can teach each other something new?”

An embarrassed giggle bubbled up from Misty, such a lively sound, she stood, eyes bright and face pink when she faced Cordelia.

“I ain’t much of a teacher, but I think I like the sound of that.”

“I think you’ll surprise yourself.” And Cordelia meant every word. Truthfully, she had considered for some time that perhaps, once she was feeling able, Misty could help with her botany classes. And, with time, perhaps her role would expand. She knew in her heart Misty would take to it.

Misty shook her head, face still pink, and took the cloth from her hands to discard it in an old pot beside the door.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I surprised myself I suppose.” Misty retrieved her tape player, slipping the strap over one shoulder. “Was pretty surprised when I woke up after bein’ burnt.”

Despite the humour lacing Misty’s tone, Cordelia frowned, unable to take it as lightly as she seemed to. When she had heard about what had happened on the news she had taken it quite personally, it was her duty to find these girls and help them, offer them safety, but Misty had escaped her notice, yet had been so close.

The music stopped.

“Hey,” Misty said soothingly, kneeling before her, hands carefully taking her own, “Ain’t no reason to blame yourself.” Misty shushed her when she went to speak, “No, I can tell that’s what you’re doin’ and that ain’t right.”

A small smile appeared on Cordelia’s face despite herself. Misty’s fingers played over her wrist, tracing her tattoo, the intimate touch stirring something deep within.

“Besides…” Misty smiled widely, “I got better.”

A sad, little laugh left Cordelia as she gave a shake of her head.

“Today is supposed to be about you,” Cordelia sighed, watching the movement of Misty’s fingers over her skin, “And yet you’re here trying to cheer me up.”

Misty tilted her head, a lopsided smile on her face, “Did it work?”

“Did it work?” Cordelia breathily repeated back with a smile.

Misty grinned, tugging her to her feet, releasing one hand but still holding the other, “I want to check my garden. Not as awesome as your greenhouse, but still pretty cool.”

“I would say they are equally as impressive,” Cordelia said, letting Misty lead her outside, the sun immediately warming their faces, “Though here you can’t control the outside influences.”

“Is that your way of sayin’ you’re impressed with my work?” Misty slowed down to walk beside her, still hand in hand, lifting her brow as she waited for an answer.

“Oh most definitely, but I would hope you already know that.”

Misty sucked her bottom lip, peeking at her from the corner of her eye. They rounded the corner to the garden, all flourishing, pink and yellow flowers blooming. Misty released her hand, placed her tape player down on an upturned bucket, and hit play once more.

“I take it,” Misty began as she filled up her water can in the surrounding water, “you’ve been lookin’ after this too.”

“How did you guess?” Cordelia lifted her eyebrows, smiling teasingly.

They spent much of the day in the garden. Each time she visited, Cordelia had tended to the plants, and each time left after casting a few protective enchantments over them. It was here, so long ago, that she first noticed the true depths of Misty’s resourcefulness – the inventive use of things others would otherwise discard, from the hanging decorations in her garden, the bike repurposed as a planter, the handmade touches in her home and the accessories she wore.

They exchanged few words, considered bringing some cuttings back for her greenhouse (something Cordelia had wanted to do for a long time, but it felt wrong to do so without Misty’s consent, even though that had once been impossible to obtain), and otherwise simply enjoyed each other’s company.

Sometime later they finally sat down for their picnic a few feet from the water, a little too close for Cordelia’s likening, knowing just what could be in there. Misty was content to sit on the grass but Cordelia finally coaxed her to lay the picnic blanket out instead as she cleaned her hands before sorting through the cooler.

Misty, bare feet covered with dry mud, looked out on to the water, muttering with a little disappointment, “No ‘gators about.”

“I don’t think that’s particularly a bad thing.” Cordelia glanced up, a teasing smile on her face, Misty pouted at her. _She’s serious_ , Cordelia shook her head, _of course she is_. Even so, she would much rather keep her distance from such creatures for now. Even with the belief that Misty’s presence meant no harm was likely to come to either of them.

“They’re my friends.”

She rested a sympathetic hand on Misty’s shoulder, handing her a plastic plate with the other, “Perhaps next time?”

“What if somethin’ happened to them?” Misty pursed her lips, closing her eyes and lapsing into silence for a few long moments.

Cordelia kept an eye on her, feeling a prickling on her skin, and continued to unpack their lunch – she checked her watch – no, their early dinner.

“No,” Misty finally said, looking thoughtfully at the water, a smile back on her face, “I would know if it had. Could always tell.”

She clasped her hands together, gaze roaming over the plastic containers Cordelia had placed out before them.

“There’s an awful lot, Miss Cordelia.” Despite her words, Misty didn’t sound the least bit concerned, she shifted eagerly, gaze now jumping from one container to another as if she couldn’t decide where to start.

“Well I know a certain someone who has a big appetite.” Misty leant over, bumping her shoulder against Cordelia’s, who then leant in close with a grin. “Better to have too much than too little I thought. I would hate for you to get grouchy.”

Misty snorted, eyebrows lifted high as she bit her lip to keep a laugh in.

“I don’t get grouchy.”

“No,” Cordelia mused, brushing an errant curl behind Misty’s ear, touch lingering for a moment, “But you do complain.”

Misty poked out her tongue, breaking into a laugh as she reached for a cream cheese and jelly sandwich – Cordelia’s nose wrinkled at the thought, as it had when she had prepared them. She poured them some lemonade each before helping herself to some Greek salad. The plastic cutlery was flimsy, but did its job, and Misty even picked up a plastic knife to cut off a large slice of Crunch Cake.

Much as in the garden, they spoke little as they ate, lapsing into a comfortable silence as they basked in their surroundings.

Misty was chewing a strawberry from the fruit salad when she broke the silence. Cordelia had finished eating sometime before her.

“No one’s done this for me before. Anythin’ like this, I mean.” Misty sucked the juice off her finger, gaze flickering to her and away, a hitch in her voice.

“I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it. I certainly have.” A bird called nearby, the trees rustling in a gentle breeze. “I’ve never actually been on a picnic before,” Cordelia admitted softly, to anyone else she would have been embarrassed, “It’s been nice.”

They needed to do this again, at some point, perhaps even make it a regular thing? Misty certainly benefited from it, as did she. Queenie and Zoe were right that she did need a break from everything now and then, and where better than with Misty, here? She had already put aside some time to visit, only in future she would now have company.

The thought pulled at something in her stomach, had her gaze fall away from Misty to her empty plate. But before Cordelia could give it much thought, Misty shifted, stretching her legs out and leaning back on her hands, drawing Cordelia’s attention back to her.

“Being here,” Misty sighed, tilting her head back, a gentle song on the tape player that Cordelia couldn’t name, “I feel like I can breathe easily, almost like I’ve come home – or a part of me has. I can’t explain it.”

“I’m not surprised.” Cordelia’s smile was gentle. “There’s a natural magic here, one not unlike yours.”

Misty looked at her, brow furrowed for a few moments before clarity crossed her face.

“I can feel it, and yours. And here you seem to shine so much brighter.” Cordelia placed her plate down beside her, holding her hand out, Misty took it with no hesitation, hers still stained with earth. “You could always return here, if it helps?” Cordelia’s mouth was dry as she made the suggestion for the second time, and just like the first, she felt guilty that a part of her hoped Misty would say no. This time, however, she did not know if that was what the answer would be.

The pause before Misty answered could not have been more than a few seconds, but it felt far longer.

“No,” she said with no doubt, thumb stroking across Cordelia’s hand, tracing over her knuckles. “This is home for a part of me, but not for the other.”

“We’ll come again,” she assured her, “Or if you ever feel you need to come here, then you needn’t ask.”

 _Can she drive_ – The thought didn’t last long, distracted by Misty’s insistent touch.

“I know,” Misty eyes hadn’t left her own, a subtle shift in their depths that Cordelia couldn’t place. Misty spoke softly, her hold gentle, “But I think I rather share it with you.”

Warmth tingled where they touched, Cordelia’s eyes glistening as heat crept up her neck, touched by the depth of feeling in Misty words. When the music stopped, Misty pulled away, shuffling on her knees over to her tape player.

It took a moment for Cordelia to compose herself, and realise her hand still sat in her lap where Misty had left it. She pulled it back, clasping it with her other.

“We best be getting back,” Cordelia decided when she looked up to the late afternoon sky and then checked her watch. Misty agreed silently, casting a prolonged look at their surroundings before clambering to her feet and disappearing into her shack, presumably to retrieve any belongings she thought she may need. When the first shutter closed, Cordelia looked away.

She began packing away the leftovers, ignoring the lingering heat in her face and warmth in her chest – that familiar feeling she would not let herself linger on. When it was almost all packed away, Misty appeared to help. A clinking in her bag, bringing a knowing smile to Cordelia’s face. Misty retrieved her tape player, slinging it over one shoulder and together they folded up the blanket between them before tucking it away in the cooler.

Once done, they lingered for a few more moments. Misty had finally put her boots on and walked to the water edge, absorbing all she could while Cordelia waited patiently, watching her. The sun catching Misty’s hair, glowing gold, bathing her in light.

With one final look around, Misty turned to her, cheeks dimpled and eyes now only on her. She stopped before her, biting at her lip, “Thank you for this.”

“I wanted to do it much sooner,” she confessed, a note of frustration in her tone directed only at herself. Her next words unnecessary as it was clear to see in Misty’s demeanour, in the joy in her eyes, from their exchanges all day, “I hope it helped.”

“It did more than that.” Misty’s smile was warming, a familiar shift in her movement telling that a hug was coming. Cordelia welcomed it, slipping her arms around her, Misty’s hair tickling her neck, her breath brushing her ear as she thanked her again. The heady scent of lavender and earth comforting. Cordelia found herself reluctant to let go when Misty pulled back, but Misty did not go far, her hands resting on Cordelia’s upper arms. So close she could see the faint dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose.

That feeling returned, that peculiar tug in her chest joined now by butterflies in her stomach. Misty’s eyes sparkled, the blue so bright (flecked with grey she realised for the first time), her gaze so warm. A familiar crease of thought between her eyebrows, a peek of her tongue, and she stepped closer still. Dipped her head. Cordelia could feel the heat of her skin, the brush of her breath against her, then the sudden press of soft lips against her own.

Her heart leapt in her chest. Eyes wide.

But just as it registered, just as her eyes fluttered closed and she pressed back, the touch was gone.

Misty was a fair distance away, bag and cooler in hand, rushing towards the path they had taken there.

“Come on, Miss Delia, it’ll be dark soon. I know my way around, but you’re likely to trip.”

She nodded dumbly, fingers pressed to her lips, speechless as Misty disappeared through the undergrowth, not once looking back.

She followed, after a pause, head buzzing, heart fluttering, lips tingling.

 

* * *

Purposefully she had ignored the feeling, purposely left it unnamed, had tried to convince herself it was something else time after time. But now…

She had loved before. She had been married for God’s sake – it had been the happiest day of her life, she had finally found someone who loved her so dearly and she them. Had wanted a family. Had wanted the best for both of them. It had all been lies, but she could not lie to herself and say that she never felt the way she had, she had so fiercely and so strongly. No matter how much it hurt to acknowledge it.

And, in truth, she had never truly thought anyone could love her. Her own mother certainly hadn’t helped those feelings. Perhaps that was why she had been so easily swept off her feet in the past.

But this had escaped her notice. Had been left unnamed. Why? Because Misty was younger than her? Well, she was not truly that much younger, was she? Because she had once been her student? Well, she had never truly been a student there, had she? Because they were both women? No. That had never bothered her, even if it had never occurred to her personally as a possibility.

Because of what Misty had been through? How damaged she was from it all? How she needed support and help? Her focus had been on helping her heal, that took precedence.

Their daily routine was so easy, it felt so natural. It felt domestic. It _was_ domestic.

Perhaps she really was wilfully blind. Oblivious to what was before her. What was apparent. Purposefully ignoring what was in front of her, and just how very mutual it was.

And had there not always been a connection between them, from the very moment they met. She had put it down to their shared interest in botany, the natural pull of similar talents, Misty’s eagerness to learn from her – the light she carried, her enthusiasm.

God, had she always been so enamoured? Had that been part of her desperation to bring her back? Not just that she had been lost unnecessarily due to her choices, trapped somewhere she had no place being, but because she…

She bit at her thumb, refusing to think back on that. Time for reflection could come later, she looked out of her window, finding only darkness. Where had Misty disappeared off too? She was torn for far too long over whether to leave her to her own thoughts, or seek her out. In the end the former won out simply due to inaction. She needed to let her know she had done nothing wrong, whether that kiss meant anything or was… just spurred on by emotion, by the freedom and joy she felt.

No. No. She was not going to give those negative thoughts the time of day yet. If that was how Misty truly felt, if it was a spur of the moment thing, then fine, she would accept that. But as of that moment she was just speculating and thinking the worst.

_Where is she?_

Her stomach turned unpleasantly.

The ride back home had been awkward at first, but then Misty starting talking about this and that and conversation flowed – though she could not begin to say what they had actually discussed. Neither mentioned what had happened, and once they had returned to the Academy and brought everything inside, Misty had disappeared.

She glanced to the clock to find it had just gone ten o’clock. Misty was usually there, listening to her music quietly as Cordelia either finished off some work at her desk or settled beside her reading a book. The other side of the bed seemed so empty – _oh,_ they had their own sides, she hadn’t even realised. It had just happened so naturally, like everything else, like their daily routine. They had slipped into it so easily.

Cordelia tried to settle the anxiety in her stomach by following their nightly routine, but found she could not concentrate, stuck on the same paragraph for so long she lost count. She placed her book on the bedside table, biting her cheek, and waited.

 

* * *

Misty did not return to their room that night, or the following. It filled her with a barely concealed worry – that her nightmares may return, that things would never be the same again, that their friendship had...

But when she saw her at breakfast (feeling so relieved at the sight of her the day after their trip), or around the house, everything was as it was, Misty was cheerful and friendly, if not less touchy than was normal. Quietly reminding her not to get too lost in her work, to remember to pause for lunch. And Misty was most definitely avoiding being on her own with her, managing to disappear on the few occasions she tried to catch her alone. Unfortunately as it was the start of a new week, she was swept up in her duties again. The room feeling empty, and her typical morning routine – which once was so normal – now feeling so wrong. And so very lonely.

Zoe had let her know she had she had stayed on Queenie’s floor one night, and then Zoe’s the next night, both had let Misty know it was inconvenient in their own way, as Cordelia had long suspected it would be. Unprompted, they assured her there had been no sign of her nightmares returning. And for a moment, she considered explaining to them what had happened, but dismissed it just as swiftly. Better to discuss it with Misty first before involving any others. Even if they already were involved in a way, but she didn’t know how Misty had explained what had happened to them, or even if she had. Regardless, neither asked any questions and so she offered no answers.

It was evening on the third day when she checked with them both if they knew where Misty was. They didn’t, though they knew she hadn’t tried returning to the bed in the shared room. As she thanked them and left, she heard Queenie whisper something to Zoe, but she paid it no mind, too focused on finding just where Misty was.

Misty had spent far too much of her life alone. Enough was enough, it could not carry on like this.

Could she have returned to the swamp? She doubted it, Misty had been at dinner, and it was a very long walk, it was dark, and surely she wouldn’t run away like that? No. That didn’t seem like her at all.

It was getting late, when she returned to her room on the off chance that Misty had finally come back to her. She hadn’t, and her paperwork still sat unfinished on her desk – but it would wait. The door to her closet, however, was slightly ajar. She headed straight for it, noticing immediately that a few of Misty’s clothes had disappeared from her closet, as had the spare blanket and one of the pillows she kept in there. She trailed her fingers across a flowing skirt, knowing instantly just where Misty must have secreted herself.

After all, had Misty not made the suggestion once before?

 

* * *

“You can’t sleep here, Misty,” she said as she entered her greenhouse, closing the door behind her gently. A few lights were on, but overall it was still dim, she did not hear the music she had expected. Beside her lab equipment, she spotted several new jars filled with Misty’s various concoctions. She looked around, seeing no sign of Misty, but even without sensing her, she knew that she was there. Likely hidden away in a corner somewhere.

She took a step forward, towards the counter in the centre of the greenhouse, but stopped.

This wasn’t right. She wanted to sort this out, but if Misty needed time alone then she should leave her to it, no matter how much she wanted to talk to her about…everything. No matter how much she told herself Misty did not like to be alone – things had changed, hadn’t they? It certainly wasn’t like Misty to voluntarily seek isolation. Perhaps, this time, she truly did need the distance?

She pinched the bridge of her nose, releasing a breath and drawing in another, even the scent of her many plants and flowers did little to calm the beginnings of a stressful throb in her head.

 _What am I doing?_ She leant against the counter, palms flat against the wood, and sighed heavily.

“I want you to know you haven’t done anything wrong,” she said, eyes on the grain of the wood beneath her hands, “And I am happy to talk when you’re ready. Nothing has changed, or has to.” She pushed herself back, turning to leave, adding more sternly at first, but her voice growing softer by the end, “But you are not sleeping out here. You can come back to my room, or stay with the girls again. Whichever you prefer.”

Her fingers had just brushed the door handle when she heard movement in the corner of the greenhouse. She let her hand drop to her side, not turning until she heard Misty’s voice.

“Hey.”

She turned to find Misty behind her, in her nightgown, hair dishevelled and a sheepish expression on her face.

“Misty,” she sighed, a slow smile spreading across her face, her gaze dropped to the stools by the counter and without prompting they both took one and sat facing each other. It took a while to settle on what to say first, even with all the time she had spent thinking over exactly that, her voice was caring and gentle when she asked simply, “What have you been thinking?”

The same as she no doubt. That certainly wasn’t the smartest question, nor was it remotely like what she had imagined she would say.

Misty sucked her bottom lip, their knees bumping when she shifted in her seat. She bowed her head slightly, a pause before she looking up at her from beneath her lashes.

“I didn’t want to make you feel awkward.” She fiddled with one of her rings, biting at her lip before attempting to continue, “I just…”

Her gaze fell away to her hands, her shoulders tensing.

“You can tell me anything, Misty. I won’t judge.” Cordelia stiffened at her words, her breath catching as anxiety crept up her chest. Why was she so concerned? She had already accepted that if it was a mistake, then that was what it was. She would understand that.

She folded her hands together tightly, to stop the tremble in them, struck by the sudden weight of just how much she hoped it wasn’t a mistake. And the guilt that brought with it. Her heart beating hard.

“I know,” Misty said with a sad smile, “I trust you. I just got scared, I guess.”

She wasn’t alone there, but Cordelia waited before she said any more, sensing Misty had not finished speaking. The panic inside calming somewhat.

“I don’t want to…” Misty shrugged, brow creasing, “To lose all of this after I finally found where I belong, and when I have people who truly care about me. I thought… maybe I did wrong by you.”

Cordelia reached for Misty’s fidgeting hands, her gentle touch stilling her movements.

“You’re not going to lose anyone.” When Misty still didn’t look up, she tried again, “Misty…” Cordelia touched her chin, just a light touch to encourage her to meet her eyes. They shone so brilliantly. “If you hadn’t ran off you would have felt that the kiss was far from one-sided.”

Misty flushed crimson, “Really?”

There was so much relief and excitement in just that one word.

Cordelia bit her lip, smiling, all her worries vanishing as she relaxed, “Really.”

Her gaze dropped to Misty’s lips, and she wanted nothing more in that moment to lean over and kiss her. She settled instead on resting their foreheads together, the hands holding tight to one another’s.

“I’ve wanted to say somethin’ for so long,” Misty whispered, eyes fluttering shut for a moment, “I thought I could see it in you too, just wasn’t sure.”

“I wish I had realised sooner,” Cordelia said lowly, mostly to herself, wondering just how long Misty had felt this way.

Misty ducked her head away, a shy grin on her face, “I’ve heard about love in Stevie’s songs, understood it all, but I ain’t never felt it before. I’ve never felt like this for anyone before.” She bit her lip, looking up at her through her lashes, “If I knew it would feel like that, I would have done it sooner.”

Misty laughed, the sound filled with joy.

“Oh,” Cordelia breathed, heart hammering in her chest, hardly believing what was happening. But then the words sank in, her fluster swept away as she zeroed in on the meaning in them. Or rather the implication. The words left her before she could think, “Misty… was that your first kiss?”

Misty bit at her lip again, shifting in her seat, bashful as she gave a little nod.

“Oh,” she said again, the sound completely different this time, an icy coldness washing over her. She was her first kiss… first love judging by her words. It all made her falter. Everything that Misty had been through, everything that she knew of pushed to the forefront of her mind.

Misty had been back for a while, but it would take far longer for her to heal completely from everything she had experienced – if she would ever heal completely. And then there was everything else she had been through in the past. Perhaps Misty’s pull towards her was borne not from something truly genuine, but from all of that. Perhaps she was clinging to her because of her kindness towards her, her determination to help, and Misty’s own intense need for company. To not be alone again, to have something and someone of her own.

She had her, would always have her, but…

Misty’s smile faltered when she said nothing more, her hands clutching Cordelia’s tighter. Desperately.

“Are you sure?” Cordelia asked carefully, her stomach sinking and the throb in her head returning, “About how you feel?”

Could she have chosen a worse thing to say? When had she returned to the bumbling awkwardness from so long ago?

“I’m an adult, Miss Delia.” Misty eyes grew wide, a desperate twist to her lips, unaware her own words undermined their very meaning.

Cordelia shifted awkwardly, face hot and seemingly growing hotter still, an unpleasant feeling in her stomach, “Of course I know that.”

She was an adult. Older than her own Council. But despite how fiercely she would defend herself if need be, there had always been a sense of innocence about Misty, something she had felt the very first moment they had touched. She couldn’t take advantage of that. She _wouldn’t_ take advantage of that.

Misty had said she was selfless, and she believed that she believed that, and though it had warmed her at the time and on reflection, she knew she would always fear the comparison to her mother – that she would be as selfish and self-serving as she. And with time that fear had and would continue to diminish, but it would never leave her. Not completely.

She had sworn she would never be selfish.

“Misty…” She sat back, gently retreating from Misty’s hold, and pinched the bridge of her nose, her brow furrowing. How could she explain this? How could she make the kindness clear in her voice? “I don’t want you to rush in. You’re still healing.” The rest broke off in her mouth, catching on her tongue and refusing to leave, _If you ever fully heal_.

Misty pressed her lips together in a tight, feeble smile, giving a small shake of her head.

“Of course I am.” She paused as if finding the words she had lost. “I reckon it’ll always be with me. But we learn to cope, we get stronger, like I have before.” Though her eyes glistened, her smile grew stronger, surer, reaching with both hands to cup Cordelia’s, the assuredness trying to sooth her fraying nerves. “And I feel good. So much better. Thanks to all of you, but _you_ even more so. So much more.”

The words twinged in her chest, set alight the concern that was already there.

“Perhaps…” She began, the words as unpleasant on her tongue as the thought was in her head. The words left her gently despite it all, desperate not to hurt. “… That is why you feel like this.”

The suggestion tore at her heart, but not as much as Misty’s crumpled expression cut at her.

“I want you to be in the right mind. I don’t want you to feel you have made a mistake, and then feel trapped or that you have no choice.”

“I felt somethin’ before,” Misty’s words were almost lost in her whisper, a note of desperation in her voice that tugged harshly at Cordelia’s chest. “The first time. I didn’t know what it was. Just that I liked bein’ around you. Really liked it. Really liked you. But it’s grown since, grown so much. I get it now.”

Heart hammering in her chest, Cordelia had to take a breath to steady herself. Wetting her lip before speaking, her throat dry, “I just want you to be sure, that this isn’t…” Cordelia trailed off, struggling to verbalise just what she meant. She could barely put words to it in her head. “That this is truly how you feel.”

With no hesitation, Misty giving a few eager nods in quick succession, biting at her bottom lip, brow lifted high.

Cordelia’s heart fluttered, her stomach twisting before she took a shuddering breath and it sank. Her body tensing.

“I’m sure that is what you think.” The words stuttered out of her despite her will that they be strong, her gaze wavering but staying fixed on Misty’s own. And she truly did believe that was what Misty thought, the words stirring up treasured memories – ones she had kept close to her heart – the emotions they carried rushing over her, almost sweeping her along, but she struggled against it. Pushed back against it for Misty, for what was best for her. “You’ve been through so much. I think it only wise to think it all over carefully. To be truly certain.”

“I am. I know,” Misty repeated, eyes glistening, voice small.

Cordelia wrapped her in a hug, her eyes stinging and heart beating hard. Misty’s fingers clutched tightly to the back of her blouse, the closeness allowing her to feel every rapid breath. Her chest tightened painfully. This was the sensible thing to do, she told herself, the responsible thing to do.

“I’m not rejecting you,” she stressed in a rush as she pulled back, cupping Misty’s damp cheeks, brushing her thumbs across them, “After everything, I just believe it is wise to take your time. To be sure. To not rush.” She dropped one hand, sought Misty’s fingers, “Please do not think it will change anything between us now or if… anything changes. Okay?”

This was the right thing to do.

She would not be selfish.

Misty’s gaze shook, but never once left her own, “I get it.”

She pressed the gentlest of kisses to Misty’s cheek, felt the heat of her skin beneath her lips, tasted salt.

 

* * *

The more time that passed, the more furiously she berated herself, the harsher her words were. She had made things difficult in her want to ensure Misty was not rushing in, that what she felt was not a result of her suffering or perhaps a reliance on her. But, they had both been through so much. Lost so much. Suffered so much pain. And she had perhaps caused more, but it was in the hope to prevent something even greater. Or so she kept telling herself.

Time for reflection was for the best. For both of them.

She was well aware now that the depth of feeling had been there before, like a young sapling that simply needed care and time to grow. But she had to be responsible, she was the older one of them, the more experienced. She had to be responsible –

_Still sharing a bed is not exactly responsible, Cordelia._

Her pen dropped to her desk with a clatter, her brow furrowing as she pressed her hand to her forehead, leaning on the desk with her elbow.

She _had_ given Misty a choice, and she had opted to return to her – to her bed – and she had allowed it. Perhaps it was not the smartest decision (of course it wasn’t) but Cordelia insisted that nothing had changed, that they would continue as they had been. She was just giving Misty time to think things through. Distance would perhaps help with that, but she could see such a suggestion hurting Misty. That to her it would feel like Cordelia was pushing her away.

But had her actions that night in the greenhouse not done just that, or risked it?

The first few nights, Cordelia had struggled to fall asleep, her mind whirling. She slept better now, or her sleep had improved anyway, but the distance between them left her cold despite the blanket. She had become accustomed to their closeness, the absence so noticeable, even more so now Misty was there. She missed it, an admission that was quiet even in her own head.

Of course, over the last few days, it hadn’t stopped them from waking cuddled up as they had before. She couldn’t tell who sought who in their sleep, but she suspected it was mutual. She hoped it was –

Cordelia released another sharp sigh, pushing aside the draft letter she was writing. There was no point in doing it if she could not focus.

And they had indeed continued on as they had before, neither discussing the very large elephant in the room. Perhaps if they talked things through that would help – or if they spoke to someone else… no, she had no one else she could talk to about this. No one she would talk to about it – not now anyway.

And the more time that passed, the more she reflected on everything. The more she realised.

Now, she was starting to wonder if this was more about Misty or her own fears –

She closed her laptop, dropped her discarded pen into its pot, and stood. She would check in on some lessons, busy herself with that, and finish her work later when she was more together. When she could focus again.

 

* * *

It was exactly two weeks later when she emerged from her bathroom to find Misty had already left for breakfast. She did not have the chance to ponder the unusualness of it, or the fact the heather had been moved to the windowsill, her gaze landing on the coffee table.

Misty’s name left her on a sigh, a sweet smile on her face as she approached the vase filled with a mixture of ox-eye daisy and purple lilac. She bit her lip, heart fluttering, a flush colouring her cheeks.

Later when she entered the kitchen she found Misty regaling an enraptured Suzie and a few other far more bewildered looking girls with a story about Mick and Christine – two of her alligator ‘friends’ and one of the occasions they had scared off some poachers together. Hopefully the part about her celebratory swim with them was fiction, but considering this _was_ Misty…

Not for the first time she considered Misty’s abilities and connection with nature were even greater than they knew. Which was of course certainly better than the alternative – that Misty would risk herself so apparently obliviously.

She seemed completely back to herself. So comfortable. So at home.

A smile still in place, Cordelia started preparing a cup of lemongrass tea. Neither discussed the flowers, though both where perhaps more bashful for the rest of the day than they had been. There was no need to talk about it, the meaning clear.

The next day, knowing Misty would return to their room in the afternoon to listen to her tapes alone, she moved the flowers to a new vase on her side of the bed and placed a bouquet of ambrosia and orange roses in the vase on the coffee table. She had no worry in her mind, no second guessing. Smiling to herself, she retreated to review lesson plans in her office.

 

* * *

After that, they had begun silently exchanging gifts. Small things; a small set of jewellery making supplies for Misty, a handmade bookmark decorated with pressed primroses hidden in her book, and of course flowers and plants. Signs of care, of admiration. They were courting, perhaps, even though they were already living so closely… but what else could she call it?

This certainly was not what she had intended when they had that heart-to-heart so many weeks ago. Still, she would be lying if she said she didn’t appreciate it, that she wasn’t enjoying it. Even though they were so far beyond the need for such things.

Still. It _was_ nice, and she had not had attention like that for so long, and she suspected Misty never had. Misty deserved it all, she deserved everything she wanted, and so it continued, day after day, week after week. No decline in frequency.

She had feared her selfishness, still did, but how could it be selfish if it was truly what they both wanted? Something neither had said aloud to the other, but there was no denying it.

The closeness between them returned steadily, beginning one night when Cordelia softly called Misty’s name and offered her hand beneath the blanket. Misty took it without hesitation, and with time they were back to how they once were. Wrapped in one another’s arms –

Snapping out of her thoughts, Cordelia focused back onto the application she was reviewing, but not before glancing to the bouquet of red, pink, and purple asters on her desk.

 

* * *

Her scheduled trip to the swamp was once again delayed, but she had made some time for them to look at some of Misty’s concoctions instead, Cordelia having made some additions in regards to them to her already copious handwritten botany and potion book – the short time alone together, so similar to so long ago, had brightened an otherwise stressful day. And there were plenty more of Misty’s mixtures to look at in the future.

While she hadn’t been able to keep the trip as planned, she had promised Misty they would make it the following week – they were coming up to a break in the school year, a thankful break from the typical rigidity of the school day.

It wasn’t like Misty to sulk, even more so after a promise like that, but that was the impression Cordelia got that night after she switched her lamp off and they settled down. Misty did not immediately cuddle up as was the norm, instead keeping a bit of distance between them and her back to her.

Cordelia waited, her stomach flipping unpleasantly when it became apparent Misty was staying where she was. She wracked her mind for anything else that could explain the distance, but came up empty.

Deciding to take the initiative she reached out beneath the sheets, calling Misty’s name softly, like she had so many weeks ago. Misty shifted in acknowledgement, rolling towards her but not sneaking in closer. Cordelia stretched further still until her fingers brushed against Misty’s hand, she waited, and soon felt Misty take her hand, and she breathed easier for it.

Swallowing with a little difficulty, she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but Misty cut her off, her voice soft, “Nothing’s changed, you know.” Misty’s hand twitched against her own, “I still feel it just as strongly.”

Cordelia squinted in the darkness, but could see little more than Misty’s outline. It was the first time it had been mentioned aloud since that day in the greenhouse. She had already known, both of them knew, of course, clear not just in her actions, but in their shared gestures, in Misty’s eyes. In her own.

“I know,” she said tenderly, switching on the lamp with her free hand and turning herself to fully face Misty, “I just wanted you to be sure. Certain that what you felt is genuine and not influenced by everything you’ve been through.”

She hesitated, mulling over her next words, the admission hard.

“And I think I knew you were certain when you told me, but I still wanted you to be sure. You’ve been through so much.” She paused, adding in a far gentler voice, the confession coming easily with Misty – with anyone else it would have remained lodged in her throat. “And, I suppose, perhaps a part of me was afraid.”

“I get it,” Misty assured her, squeezing her hand gently, “From what I know.”

“And I didn’t want to be selfish,” she admitted in a whisper, “And take what I wanted with no regard to you.”

“You ain’t selfish, I told you that before. You care about all of us, treat everyone equally. Like family should. And I know that’s easily said an’ all, but you should give yourself more credit,” Misty insisted, the familiar words bringing a small smile to Cordelia’s face. “I get being scared, but I swear I won’t ever hurt you, or give you a reason to feel that way.”

Cordelia’s heart hammered, unshed tears stinging at her eyes, “I know that. I should be the one saying it.”

“You don’t need to.” Misty’s hand slid from hers, her fingers playing over hers, “Like I said, I felt this before – I just didn’t recognise it.”

“Neither did I.”

Misty’s next words left her a little uncertainly, as if afraid of her reaction, “Well you were just starting a divorce an’ all.”

“Yes,” Cordelia said, pausing briefly, able now to talk more freely about it all, “… that is true. And there was an awful lot going on for all of us.”

She had suspected for a long while now that if their time together had not been so short, had their lives not been filled with so much trauma, the danger close to their heels, what was between them would have bloomed so much sooner.

The thoughts of what could have been, the heavy weight of what had happened pressed down on her. After all it was her foolish decision to break with tradition, to make Misty undergo a test before she was ready. The sense of loss grew, but then Misty looked to her, blue eyes sparkling, cheeks dimpling with the strength of her smile.

That feeling blossomed in her chest, warm and all enveloping, Misty still playing with the fingers of her hand. She leant forward, cupping Misty’s cheek, closer still so their foreheads were almost touching. Misty’s light pushed away the darkness, as it had the blackness that had tried to consume her time and time again. Misty did not hold her to blame, she never would, too light, too good to hold onto such bitterness.

She was here. She was back. They were together and that was all that mattered.

“I’ve been stupid,” Cordelia sighed, her frustration at herself clear in her voice.

“I don’t think so. You were thinkin’ about others again, being selfless.” Misty’s smile turned teasing, eyebrows lifting, “Besides, I liked the presents.”

Cordelia pulled back slightly, hand sliding down Misty’s arm to clutch her free hand, “Don’t think that will stop.”

“I don’t plan to either.” Misty took the hand she was playing with fully in hers again.

A comfortable silence settled over them, time passed but she couldn’t say how much.

Though she was filled with such warmth, such certainty, she was unable to stop the words as they left her one final time, her eyes fluttering closed, “If you’re sure?”

She could feel Misty’s shy smile, could picture it even if she could not see it, her confidence had returned long ago, but not when it came to this. The realisation pulled at her chest, made her breath catch for a moment.

“I’ve never been surer of anythin’, Miss Delia.”

Her voice left her in a rush, voice trembling, just noticeably, “I think we’ve gone long past the need for Miss. Even more so now.”

Misty ignored that, as she had the last time they had discussed it, she could feel her shifting nearer, the sheets rustling, “I want to do things right.”

“Do things right?” She repeated at a loss, feeling her face heat, “The flowers?”

She opened her eyes, found Misty’s so close their nose were almost brushing, her blue eyes sparkling, a flush across her cheeks.

“Can I kiss you?” Misty asked, shyly, and yet with a certain confidence behind it. Perhaps the dim light emboldened her.

“Misty…” Cordelia sighed, butterflies in her stomach.

“Oh.” Misty gave a small nod, “ _May_ I kiss you?”

Cordelia laughed, smiling widely. “You don’t need to ask.”

Misty nodded again, a nervous energy in the action, one that Cordelia was surprised to find mirrored in her. Misty pressed the gentlest of kisses to her lips, Cordelia tilted her head to welcome it, her hand sliding up Misty’s arm to cup her cheek. Almost as soon as it started, it stopped as Misty pulled back, face red, a giggle escaping her.

Cordelia brushed her thumb over the apple of her cheek, her soft skin warm beneath her touch. Misty’s hand covered her own, her eyes fluttering closed for a lingering moment.

The distance closed, Misty pressing another gentle kiss to her lips.

“I can’t believe it.” Misty’s words ghosted across her lips, sending heat tingling down her spine, and for the first time she acknowledged it completely for just what it was **.** The amazement in Misty’s words reflected in her own.

“Neither can I.” Though her eyes stung it was for a very different reason to what she was accustomed to, her smile so very large and heart so light. She tilted her head, pressing a kiss to Misty’s lips, trying to convey all she was feeling.

Misty’s hand slipped from her own, trailing down her arm, leaving tingles in its wake until it settled warm and comfortingly against her shoulder blade. Her own slid to the back of Misty’s neck, playing with the curls there. They parted for a second, but found one another again far more intensely, the press of lips soon turning into a slide, Cordelia taking the lead once more, Misty clutching her back tighter, pulling her closer – heat shot through her as they pressed together tightly – a breathy little whimper escaped Misty, Cordelia’s stomach flipped, heat pooling. Toes curling as Misty shifted against her, the hand at her back trailing heat down her spine, sliding against her hip, beneath the hem of her shirt, pressing against bare skin. A gasp.

A muffled sound of surprise broke their kiss when her back hit the mattress, startling Misty enough that she scrambled off her, but still hovering close. Lips swollen and pupils dilated. Oh she recognised that look, it stoked the fire building in her, but also made her senses return demandingly loud in her head.

“We’ve only just shared our first shared kiss.”

Misty tilted her head, face creasing and eyes scrunching up in confusion.

 _Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself._ Misty was tactile, very much so, it was easy to read too much into it. Or perhaps she was simply…

“What I mean is – ” She reached up, brushing wild curls behind a red ear. “ – I don’t want you to rush in, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything. Not tonight, or ever for that matter. After all, we’ve only just…” ‘Spoken about it’ wasn’t right, nor had they only just shared a confession. They had both been fully aware of it all for what now seemed so long. And had certainly be cohabitating like a couple for even longer.

Misty blinked slowly, hovering above her, the gears visibly turning in her head. Realisation came shortly after with a hushed, “Oh.”

Eyes half lidded, Misty sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, the sight making Cordelia bite at her own lip, thighs pressing together tightly. “I know I don’t _need_ to.” Misty’s smile quirked at one corner, teasing at a smirk. “But I would quite like to – if that’s alright by you?”

“Misty…”

“Can I touch you?”

“Oh my God,” Cordelia groaned, eyes squeezing shut, before she regained her senses, her voice an iota deeper, “I meant what I said. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to do anything – ”

A soft kiss stopped her abruptly.

“Haven’t we just been over this? ‘Sides, I think we’ve both done enough waitin’,” Misty murmured against her lips, a shyness lacing her words despite the front of confidence, “I reckon my intent’s stronger than it’s ever been.”

The tips of Cordelia’s ears burned, an unfamiliar feeling. The fire flaring deep in her belly however, was not, but for it to be set aflame by so little certainly was.

“Oh,” she sighed, as Misty pulled back slightly, her smile so sweet, “I know. I can feel it.”

Misty’s brow lifted, the colour on her face deepening, “Well?”

Cordelia’s breath caught, her face growing hotter. She certainly did not feel like the experienced one in that moment.

Misty twisted further, bracing on her elbow, their noses bumping.

“You know the answer,” she breathed against her lips, fingers playing with the collar of Misty’s nightgown. Another soft kiss had her head spinning.

“Regardless.” She paused, distracted by a kiss to the corner of her mouth, another to the mole there. The intimate gesture, the cherishing feeling, making her pulse quicken. “If anything ever makes you feel at all uncomfortable or uncertain, tell me.”

“I doubt it.” Misty appeared in her view with a grin, adding at Cordelia’s serious – though flushed – expression, “Of course I will.” Misty propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at her, the strength of her smile making her eyes crinkle, “I trust ya, with that. With everythin’. With me.”

The words made her heart flutter just as strongly as they had when she had first heard them, how it would whenever she heard them again. She brushed her fingers across Misty’s cheek, Misty turned her head into the lingering touch, eyes closing.

“And I you.”

Misty pressed a kiss to her palm, the small action conveying so much. When she opened her eyes, their tender gazes met, glistening in the lamplight.

Their lips met gently, slowly. Emotion catching in her chest, making her head whirl and breath hitch.

Misty slipped away, leaving her lips tingling, peppering her face with kisses, ducking her head to kiss the hollow of her throat, the mole on the column, she could do little more than bask in the affection, gripping loosely at Misty’s arms.

Hands slipped down her side, Misty’s weight settling welcomingly on her, she shifted, gasping, almost surprised by the strength of her reaction. Misty froze, her worry immediate.

“Are you okay?”

She gave a short nod, a breathless smile, unable to do much else.

“Are you sure?” But she must have already known the answer, her lips brushing lightly across her throat.

“Yes,” Cordelia managed to say with some difficulty, Misty’s lips having quickly found a sensitive spot on her jaw. Misty noticed the reaction, inquisitive as always, she flicked her tongue against her experimentally, sucking her skin, drawing a sudden deep moan from her. Gasping she titled her head back encouragingly, and pleased with her discovery Misty took full advantage.

Finally able to wrench back some control over herself, one hand trailed up Misty’s neck, tangling in her curls, a pleased hum rumbled against her throat. The other slid over Misty’s shoulder, revelling in the feel of her, the solidness, how real it all was. How real she was.

“Misty!” She gasped at a sudden nip of teeth against her neck. Misty chuckled nervously, ducking her head with an apology and returning to that particular spot she found on her jaw. Shifting beneath her, Misty’s leg slipped between her own but was just too low to make contact, her hands still brushing along her sides but not venturing to find her skin as they had before.

With an hesitation borne out of nervousness rather than fear, her hand glided down the dip of Misty’s back, felt her tremble against her, further still to where her nightgown had ridden up to her hip. Her fingers played there, teased beneath the hem, against soft skin as Misty’s breath shuddered against her neck. So warm, soft, and she wanted her – she could scarcely believe it.

Misty murmured against her, her hands and mouth stilled, her breathing quickened, clear with each puff against her neck and where their chests pressed together.

She slid her fingers along her hip, around to the curve of one cheek to pull her closer still, felt the bare expansive of pliant skin. Her stomach flipping.

“Misty?” She asked, voice husky but surprise still evident. Misty hummed against her neck in response, pressing another kiss beneath her jaw, making her heart skip a beat before she could continue. “Are you not wearing underwear?”

Misty lifted her head at that, lips pink and the flush on her face having somehow deepened. Her brow was furrowed, head tilting slightly in confusion, “Why would I wear underwear to bed?”

Cordelia’s head dropped to the side, hot cheek cooled by her pillow, “Oh my God.”

“What?” The heat in her stomach coiled pleasantly as Misty’s body shifted against her so she could try to meet her eye – she had never been keen on having a full weight on top of her, but with Misty it was different, everything was. She glanced up, Misty having pushed herself up to hover over her, the furrow on her brow deepened.

“You’re impossible,” Cordelia sighed, sliding her arms around Misty’s neck and turning to face her fully, “Absolutely impossible. Stunning.”

“Yeah?” Misty bit her lip, eyebrows lifting teasingly, “And you’re so amazingly beautiful.” She smirked then, chest puffing out in pride as she added with a voice that had no room for argument, “And awesome, just like I said.”

Laughter escaped Cordelia before she realised it, Misty’s own joining her, completely complementing each other. Their noses bumping as they shared a kiss through their giggles and smiles.

Misty’s weight settled on her again, braced on her forearms. The press of her lips harder, Cordelia deepened the kiss, flicked her tongue to sweep across Misty’s bottom lip. Abruptly Misty pulled back, a flash of surprise on her face, but before Cordelia could say anything she was kissing her again, Misty’s tongue swiping across her parted lips. When Cordelia pressed forward this time, Misty welcomed it. A murmur of pleasure from them both.

Electricity shot through her at the buck of Misty’s hips against her, at the soft little desperate noise in her throat.

The broke apart, chests heaving. Misty pushed up, sitting astride her hips. Halting any movement she may have made.

“I feel like I’m burnin’.” Her lips were full, her voice rougher, “This is the only way I’ll want to.”

Her throat felt dry, her pulse a steady thrum in her neck, words leaving her with little thought, “Let me help.”

Her hands had found Misty’s trembling thighs, she wasn’t sure when, sliding up just beneath the hem of her nightgown and back towards her knee, she couldn’t look away from the eyes fixed on her, still so bright despite the lust blowing her pupils wide. Chest still heaving, Misty took the bottom of her nightgown in hand and in a smooth movement pulled it off and discarded it behind her.

Cordelia froze, lips parted and hands still on Misty’s thighs.

Bare skin, the flush to her chest, the way she bit at her lip. The heat in her throbbed at the sight, trying to take in all that was offered to her. A trembling hand pressed lightly to Misty’s stomach which quivered beneath her touch, the uncharacteristic flash of nervousness in her eyes vanished. She fanned her hand out across her ribs, slipped along her side to her back as she pushed herself up with her free hand. She stretched her neck up, pressing a kiss to Misty’s lips and pulling her back down with her, rolling them over, resting in between Misty’s legs. Only her own pajamas separating their skin, she had never been so annoyed by them, but her focus was entirely on Misty beneath her, needy hands grasping at her back.

She pulled back, pressing a little peck to Misty’s lips.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Misty giggled, embarrassed, the response on her lips lost as Cordelia was unable to resist the temptation of her own exploration.

She pressed a kiss to her cheek, her jaw, more down her neck, tasted salt, smelt the lavender of her own soap on Misty’s skin.

This was not new to her – sex that is – but still her hand quaked, an apprehension mingled with the arousal deep within her. Not borne from any worry for herself, but for Misty, wanting this to be more than pleasant for her. Wanting to do everything right.

At the pause in Cordelia’s movement, her lips pressed to her collarbone, Misty squirmed impatiently beneath her, movement and breath freezing when Cordelia teased her fingers across her side, over the swell of her breast.

“Oh…” Misty turned her head to the side, chest heaving with a deep sigh when Cordelia brushed her palm against a pebbled nipple. She watched Misty’s reaction closely, her eyes slipping closed, lips parted when Cordelia took her nipple between her fingers, rolling gently. Her hips jumped slightly when she pressed a little harder, her sense of curiosity building, wondering just what reactions she could coax from her –

Misty caught her upper arm where she was bracing her weight, grip strong, her other clutching hard at her back.

That could come later then. The thought made her smile even wider, stomach fluttering.

She slipped down, a better angle to bring a hardened peak between her lips. Misty’s free hand immediately threaded through her hair, holding a little too tightly for Cordelia’s liking.

Misty mumbled something that sounded like approval, her legs coming up to cradle Cordelia between them, a whimper escaping her. Cordelia gasped, feeling the heat of her against her stomach, blazing even with the layer between them.

“Delia,” Misty whined, rocking her hips against her, pulling an eager sound from Cordelia’s throat.

She wanted to take her time, she did, but Misty sounded so needy. And, after all, they had so much time ahead of them.

Even so, she pulled away, ceasing all contact. Misty tried to pull her back, could have easily done so if her mind wasn’t otherwise occupied.

She waited until Misty calmed and met her eyes, “Are you sure?”

Sucking in a breath, Misty nodded, “So sure.”

Cordelia’s heart flipped, beating hard. She waited a moment more before pressing a sweet kiss to Misty’s lips, Misty hummed into the contact, her fingers pressing hard against her back. Pulling back, Cordelia ducked her head, paying attention to her other breast, her hand sliding down Misty’s quivering stomach, further still through damp curls.

Misty whined again, this time a desperate whimper that pulled at Cordelia’s own core.

 _God… she’s so…_ Cordelia’s eyes slipped shut for a moment, unable to verbalise her thoughts as her fingers glided against her. Misty rocked against the touch with an urgent sound, soothed when the touch slipped between her folds and lightly circled her clit.

“Oh, this…” Misty’s eyes fluttered repeatedly, as if she was struggling to keep them open, “Feels better than when I do it.”

It took Cordelia’s foggy mind a few seconds to process that, head whirling as she found herself again muttering an, “Oh my God,” this time against her beast.

She increased the pressure, the speed, flicked her touch briefly against her swollen clit, drawing a high-pitched cry from Misty. A sound that she felt resonated deep within her. The hand in her hair fisted, encouraging her touch against her breast, the other clutching tightly to her shoulder as if afraid she would disappear if she let go. Misty shook against her, the soft noises in her throat growing more frequent, her breath shorter.

With a moan, Misty bucked her hips harder into the touch, huffing a breath as she fought to speak, “I need…”

Her hips titled, Cordelia catching what she felt was the right implication as she dipped her finger down, but again she hesitated, breath ghosting over a damp nipple and finger poised at her entrance.

“Don’t tease,” Misty pleaded, hips jumping, chest raising and falling rapidly.

“No, no,” Cordelia reassured Misty, and herself, “I’m not. I just want everything to be… _right_.”

Misty managed to lift her head to meet her eyes better, panting, eyes shining with emotion even with the desire swimming so clearly in them. Even when she was so close.

“With you…” Her throat bobbed, no doubt struggling to find the words with Cordelia so close, but she could not pull away, she wouldn’t, “Everything’s right.”

A sad, pleased, little laugh escaped Cordelia. Her forehead resting between Misty’s breasts.

“And I ain’t just sayin’ that ‘cause I _really_ need you to touch me right now.”

Cordelia could feel the adoring expression on Misty’s face, the seriousness in her voice filling her heart with that familiar, addictive warmth. She pressed a kiss to the skin beneath her lips, “I need you too.”

Misty twirled her fingers in her hair, a gentle loving touch, understanding her meaning with no further explanation.

“I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” She smiled, trailing her fingers across a damp cheek, “I’ll be with ya for as long as you want me.”

“Forever,” Cordelia promised, brushing her lips against Misty’s wrist as her fingers worked their way back into her hair.

Misty’s head dropped back as Cordelia pushed a single finger into welcoming heat. Her heart skipped a beat, despite everything she was taken aback by just how much Misty wanted her. Needed her.

“Forever,” Misty sighed, eyes closed.

Misty hips rocked softly, urging her to move, Cordelia moved to her breast again, pulling her hand back and pushing forward, breath catching at how she felt Misty flutter around her finger, clutching tight as if to keep her from retreating. She picked up speed steadily, Misty meeting each thrust, moans tumbling from her lips, pleasure furrowing her brow. Cordelia’s body throbbed in response.

Cordelia pressed her thumb against her swollen clit, added another finger at a keening cry of “Delia, more!”.

Misty met her movements with a new found urgency. Trembling beneath her, gripping tighter to her fingers.

The hold in her hair grew firmer still, a desperate tug that Cordelia followed, sliding back up her body, Misty’s lips seeking hers in a breathless kiss. Her legs came up, wrapping around her, keeping her pressed close. The movement of her hips growing uneven, shorter, desperate.

Misty froze, eyes snapping open, Cordelia’s breath caught, Misty’s cry muffled against her lips as she lurched back into movement. Hips jumping in short, erratic movements as she rhythmically fluttered around her fingers. Misty’s head dropped away, eyes screwed shut, breathing ragged.

Cordelia didn’t stop until Misty shied away from her touch as best as she could, being pressed so closely together and her legs still around her, that wasn’t particularly far. Cordelia wiped her glistening fingers against the sheets – making a note to change them tomorrow – and brushed away the curls that stuck to Misty’s forehead, whispering adoring words as she slowly calmed.

Misty smiled sleepily, her eyes heavy when she opened them to look at her, finally relinquishing her tight hold on Cordelia to instead wrap her in a loose hug.

“Are you okay?”

Misty hummed, sucking her swollen bottom lip.

Cordelia swept some hair back behind Misty’s ear, smiling, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

The look in Misty’s eyes was so filled with trust, adoration, love, it felt like a dream. Cordelia knew it was reflected in her own. She rested their foreheads together, closing her eyes briefly to bask in that warm feeling surrounding them.

She would have happily stayed like that, if she hadn’t been snapped back to reality at a tug at a button on her pajama shirt. She lifted her head and glanced down, unnecessarily, to find Misty toying with a button. She looked back up, finding Misty’s face creased in concentration, the slight shake in her hands made the simple task of unbuttoning impossible.

“You don’t have to – ” Misty silenced her with a kiss, her tongue slipping between her parted lips.

Oh, she _had_ always been a quick learner.

Cordelia moaned, hit by the sudden force of just how aroused she was. Before, having been so focused on Misty, it had been easy to ignore, easy to push to the back. Now, however…

A sharper tug on her shirt made her reluctantly break the kiss, her breath short.

“Misty, no.”

Misty froze, hands pulling the material on either side of the button taut, her smile small and sheepish.

“I’m not getting the buttons resewn on.”

Misty shrugged, brow lifting as her smile pulled into an embarrassed grin, “It’s not my fault you’ve made me feel like jello all over.”

Cordelia shook her head, bracing her weight on her knees as she took Misty’s hands in her own and encouraged her to release her hold. Misty obeyed with no hesitation, Cordelia gave her hands a comforting squeeze and placed them on her hips.

“Let me.” She couldn’t hide the fluster in her voice, but with Misty she found it didn’t matter. She felt so free with her, so safe. Misty’s fingers drew little patterns against her hipbones, gazing up into her eyes adoringly and which such amazement.

Starting from the bottom she unbuttoned her shirt, Misty’s gaze stayed on her face, her fingers twitching against her hip, their movements distracted. Cordelia undid the last button, leaning down slightly, the shirt hanging loosely. Her breathing grew more rapid, nervous despite herself.

Her pulse quickened, Misty’s hands slipping from her hips to glide up her sides, caressing her skin, skimming the sides of her breasts and over her shoulders, slipping the shirt from her body.

“You’re so pretty.” Misty’s eyes did not leave hers, her smile so very sweet, “Takes my breath away. Always has.”

Her words were filled with such awe, and coming from Misty it made her blush, flustering her more than her semi-nakedness. She leant down despite it, or perhaps because of it, just out of reach of Misty’s lips. She rested her fingers lightly beneath Misty’s collarbone, felt the strong beat of her heat beneath her palm.

“From the first moment I touched you I knew you were something special.” Her smile trembled as she recalled everything as clearly as if it had happened only a day or two ago. The bad, but the good as well. Misty brushed her thumb across her lips as if trying to sweep away the sorrow tainting her smile. She kissed the pad of her thumb, melting at the love in Misty’s eyes. “I just wish I had realised then. And not…”

Misty hushed her, stern despite the warmth in her gaze, “None of that.”

Misty’s touch grazed her neck, a gentle pressure encouraging her to close the distance between them, soft lips pressing a kiss to her cheek, her nose, her forehead.

“Don’t go blamin’ yourself again,” Misty whispered against her, “Remember what I said. What we said.”

And she did. She recalled everything, head bowed, Misty holding her close. Real and solid. Even with how much time had passed since her return, she still could not comprehend the miracle of it. She had never believed in them before.

“I ain’t goin’ anywhere,” Misty repeated, the promise just as strong. Real. True.

Cordelia laughed, bright despite the heartache lingering in her voice. The joy she felt was so light, so freeing, and all encompassing.

“I know.” She kissed Misty, a soft brushing of lips. “God, I know.”

Misty grinned, pulling her down into an even tighter embrace. The expression giving way to a gasp, their naked skin pressing together for the first time. Cordelia bit her lip to hold back a groan, startled by the intensity of her own reaction to something so simple, hit again by the strength of the arousal burning deep within.

A nervous chuckle rumbled in Misty’s chest, “I’m sorry. Kinda ruined the moment.”

Despite her words and the genuineness in them, or perhaps without her realisation, Misty hands grazed her skin, exploring, fingertips trailing a tingling path down her spine. Cordelia squirmed, legs shaking with the effort it took to stop the urge to press her hips against Misty’s.

She was embarrassed by just how ready she was. How needy.

“No,” the word left her sounding strangled, her mind elsewhere – preoccupied – “No you didn’t.”

“Can I still…”

“Yes.” The word left her on a breath, filled with such trust. Despite the distraction of how close they were, of the tingling heat where they pressed together, she brushed her thumb across Misty’s bottom lip, her smile filled with a love that she mirrored back with a hushed breath.

Misty’s light touch on her back travelled up her spine again and back down. The hand at her side growing surer, grazing the side of her breast, her thumb brushing her nipple. It was barely a touch, but it sent heat shooting down her body regardless. The unfamiliar strength of her reaction cutting through her fogging mind. It seemed that with Misty, everything was different. Everything was somehow more.

Misty hummed, inquisitive as always, her thumb finding the hardened peak again, firmer this time, her other hand trailing over the dip of her back, toying with the waistband of her pajamas. Cordelia’s breath caught, harsher still when the touch turned to curious cradling between finger and thumb. Her forehead found the pillow beside Misty’s head, breathed in the scent of chamomile shampoo.

A tapping to the back of her shoulder had her lifting her head, glazed eyes meeting Misty’s. Her hands slipped to the front of Cordelia’s shoulders, nudging her until she raised up on her forearms. Misty smiled gratefully, shimmying down so her mouth could comfortably find her breast. Misty didn’t wait, eager as always, copying all Cordelia had done before.

Cordelia sighed, head dropping forward at the first curious press of tongue and mouth, a gentle suck, the sounds in the back of her throat gaining strength alongside the touches. Misty’s hands still trailing along her sides, her back, her hips.

A sharp gasp at the sudden nip of teeth, her hips bucking against Misty’s stomach.

“Oh sorry!” She forced her eyes open from where they had squeezed shut, finding Misty peering up at her, concerned furrowing her brow, a gentle touch to her breast as if to sooth a sting that was not there. “Did I hurt ya? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!”

Cordelia worked her jaw, throat tight and voice rough as she tried to find her words, “No. God, no.”

Misty’s cheeks puffed out, uncertainty slowing her hand.

“Misty I swear you haven’t done anything wrong.” She pushed herself up and shuffled down, until she was level with Misty’s once more. She trailed her fingers across her cheek, tracing her features. Her voice still carried a hint of shyness, but her tone and smile where completely reassuring. “Quite the opposite in fact.”

“Nah.” Misty shrugged, wetting her lip, the brief glimpse of tongue catching Cordelia’s eye. Misty’s lips pulled up into a smile that edged towards a smirk, “I get that. I’m just thinkin’.”

“Thinking?” Cordelia questioned, though with the way her body throbbed and burned she had little ability left to do just that.

Misty nodded, smile widening in that way that showed she had just had a great idea.

“‘Bout what’s best.”

Misty’s hands found her hips again, teasing at the edge of the silk still covering her, she trembled at the touch. She was starting to hate the chill in the air that had made her choose pajamas that night. The chill that had vanished a long time ago.

Before she could finish dwelling on that particular thought she was wrapped in strong arms and heaved up the bed, a yelp of “Misty!” piercing the air as her back hit the mattress with a slight bounce.

Her gaze snapped to Misty, who pushed herself up, trying to hover over her, but dropped down after a struggle.

“Legs still feel like jello,” she huffed.

The suggestion on Cordelia’s tongue didn’t make it far, Misty’s face lighting up with an idea as she flopped onto her belly, pushing herself up on one elbow.

“Reckon this’ll work fine.”

Misty’s lips met hers before she could follow her train of thought, her body relaxing as she melted beneath her touch.

It was as if Misty was mapping her body, the way her hands and fingers trailed over her, soon joined by her mouth, gentle kisses and the occasional press of her tongue. Curiosity danced in her eyes, just like it did when Cordelia was teaching her something new, or she stumbled across a new discovery or gadget. _God_ , as much as she adored that look, as much as she enjoyed quenching that thirst for knowledge, now – with a deep moan erupting from deep within, her hips rocking up against nothing – she couldn’t help but think it _really_ wasn’t the time.

The muscles in her stomach jumped as Misty’ touch glided down it, her curls tickling her skin.

“Misty?” It had been intended to be a request, but came out as more of a demanding squeal when Misty’s tongue glided against her. Misty blinked up at her, lips still pressed to the skin beneath her belly button, brows lifted in question.

“Are ya okay?”

“I… you – ”

When had she become a rambling fool again? When Misty was driving her mad with unintentional teasing she supposed.

 “It’s fine,” Misty assured her, taking some meaning from her words that Cordelia didn’t intend or, in that moment, could comprehend, “Can’t be much different from touchin’ yourself.”

“Oh my…” A groan cut her sentence off, her mind hazy enough she lost the rest of it, Misty’s fingers having found her inner thigh. She forced her eyes back open, finding Misty still looking up at her – God, now that was a sight that would stay with her – all wild hair, pink lips, and such tenderness shining in her eyes. “I…” She swallowed, reaching down to Misty with shaking hands, brushing a bare shoulder. “I want you up here.”

The need was one she couldn’t begin to explain, not in the state she was in at that exact point, later on she would, but not then. Misty understood without the need for an explanation, pushing herself up. A kiss to the corner of her mouth, Misty on her side now, hand resting so lightly on her stomach, completely still, as if waiting for permission.

Misty bit her lip shyly, gaze flickering away and back. “I kinda wanted to see all of you.”

The words made Cordelia close her eyes, a sharp exhale, her hand settling over Misty’s on her stomach.

“Later,” she croaked, feeling Misty’s smile.

“Yeah.” Misty’s hand twitched beneath her own, still for too long. “We’ve got forever, right?”

Cordelia met her eyes, smile small and true, “Forever.”

Misty pressed a kiss to her forehead, her cheek, briefly to her lips. She needed little encouragement to finally move their hands, Cordelia’s legs parting in anticipation. Beneath the waistband of her pajamas, Misty stalling with a hitch in her breath, Cordelia’s hips jumping.

Misty’s name left her on a sigh at the first explorative touch, gliding over her – enough sense remained for Cordelia to feel some embarrassment as just how wet she was. The gasp filled with wonder that escaped Misty certainly didn’t help.

She spread her legs wider (restricted by her pajamas as she was), a wordless request Misty obliged by seeking her throbbing clit, her touch circling around her lightly, Cordelia’s hand still on hers not coaxing any action – simply needing the connection it brought.

As before, Misty’s curiosity took hold, experimenting with her touches; softer, firmer, indirect, direct – each touch had Cordelia’s toes curling in the sheets, her hand releasing Misty’s to clutch at her upper arm, the other around her back. Misty’s eyes never left her face, memorising her every reaction. Cordelia’s eyes squeezed shut, her breath hitching.

Soon though, the material restricting her movement had Misty frowning, her touch retreating leaving Cordelia groaning for entirely different reasons. Misty pushed at the material at her hips, difficult with one hand, Cordelia wanted to help, but was unable to release her hold on Misty, needing desperately to keep her close.

Misty grumbled beneath her breath, managing to push the pajamas down her hips. Cordelia shifted, yearning for the intimate touch to return, and managed to catch her foot on the pajamas and kicked them off with trembling legs.

Misty’s eyes lit up even more, traveling over her, lips then finding hers in another sweet kiss.

Free of the restriction, Misty’s touch returned, eager and seemingly beginning her exploration all over again. It would have been maddening, if it didn’t feel so worshipful, cherishing, something she had once believed she had felt – but this was something else entirely compared to that, it all paled in comparison to the feelings Misty conjured within her at the simplest touch. The briefest look.

“Shit.” Her head dropped back, lips on her neck, too far gone now to be anything but shameless in her reaction to the cautious press of a finger pushing into her. She apologised, mangled on a moan, rubbing at Misty’s shoulder where her nails had bit in.

Misty pulled back, pushed forward again, a puff of breath brushing against her throat. She fluttered around Misty’s touch, grasping for her to stay, hips following the movement, trying to coax the unintentionally teasing touch to become firmer, biting hard at her bottom lip to still the demand that wished to leave her.

The touch disappeared. Misty pulling away from her neck. An impatient, desperate breath pushed past Cordelia’s lips.

“Oh! You taste better than I do.”

Cordelia’s eyes snapped opened just as Misty’s finger slipped from her mouth.

“Oh my God,” she groaned, before repeating it again for entirely different reasons when the touch confidently returned.

“Why do ya keepin’ sayin’ that?”

Cordelia tried to answer, she really did, but Misty pushed back into her, two fingers now, curling in her, the insistent movement stole all her words, dominating her mind as she shifted her hips, desperate for Misty to touch her where she was most sensitive. A sweat on her brow, her lungs starting to burn as if they couldn’t pull in enough air.

As if she could tell what little push she needed, Misty’s hand shifted, fumbling as she tried pressing her thumb against her clit, her fingers stilling. A frustrated frown twisted her lips as she struggled to copy what Cordelia had done. Cordelia caressed her back, marvelling in the feel of her, her other hand cupping her cheek.

“Shouldn’t be so difficult,” Misty mumbled, almost pouting.

“Doesn’t matter,” Cordelia managed to say, trying to still the urgent roll of her hips at the sudden stillness, clenching at the feel of Misty in her, “Do what feels right.”

Misty’s smile reappeared, her brow lifting as she enthused, “Got plenty of time to get it right.”

Cordelia’s laugh morphed into a moan, Misty dragging her wet fingers up, circling her clit with a new found focus. A quick, firm swipe across her.

Eyes screwing shut, back arching, a sharp cry burst from her.

Misty snatched her hands back.

“Are you okay?” The panic had Cordelia’s eyes snapping open, shaking hands cupping Misty’s face, trying to sooth the worry on her face.

“More than okay.” She pressed a quick kiss to Misty’s lips, tasted a hint of herself that the heat in her flaring, she ignored it, brushing her thumbs against Misty’s cheeks, “You’re driving me mad – with want.” She added the last part, catching the way Misty’s face fell at her words, misunderstanding. That adorable blush spread across Misty’s face, bashful even as they lay there, pressed together so intimately. “Just, please, no more teasing.” Her smile twitched on one side, a playful grin forming, “I’m not sure how much more I can take.”

“Oh, I ain’t teasin’.” Misty laughed lightly, eyes crinkling, drawing patterns on her quivering stomach with damp fingers. “But you weren’t either.” She wet her lip, looking at her through her eyelashes, “I get it.”

The touch glided down, Cordelia’s hand found Misty’s curls, encouraging her to press even closer, lips finding her cheek as the touch returned, the prefect pressure swirling around her clit, a brief direct touch occasionally. Cordelia’s head dropped back from a kiss, Misty’s lips finding her neck, the sensitive spot on her jaw.

“That right?” Misty queried, a hint of nervousness lacing her tone, like it did when she was trying an incantation or assembling a potion. Seeking her approval.

Cordelia could do little more than hiss out, “Yes.”

“Guess you’re right that I’m a quick learner,” Misty’s voice swelled with pride, that great elation she had when she was praised. Cordelia grasped for the response in her mind, but it slipped through her fingers, a familiar pressing heat spreading from Misty’s touch, mind unable to focus on little more than that – the rocking of her hips growing more desperate, matching the urgent breathy little noises that escaped her.

The build struck her with how quickly it grew, the canting of her hips growing more frantic, Misty’s touch consistent, constant. Her hold on Misty growing harder. Words were murmured against her neck, unintelligible to her in that moment, but she could feel the love and encouragement in them.

The intense needed to feel her kiss pushed to the forefront of her cloudy mind, she clutched her close, unwilling to loosen her hold, but the pleasure boiled over before she could, her head pressing back into her pillow, hips rocking harshly against Misty’s touch, a sharp contrast to the way her words left her on a quiet sigh, “Oh, Misty.”

Her hand slipped down to Misty’s, her touch hadn’t stopped, and Cordelia encouraged her to continue, but gentler, less direct, as she rode out the high.

Eventually, her harsh breaths calmed, her chest still rising and falling a little quickly. Misty was still looking down at her, and Cordelia cupped her flushed cheek, Misty finally stilling her hand. Cordelia had the urge, quite suddenly, to bring her hand to her lips – but dismissed it soon after, that could wait until another time. She did not want to overwhelm after all. And she doubted she could handle any more teasing, intended or not.

She brought Misty down for a gentle kiss, trailing her other hand through her tangled curls, feeling wet fingers clutching at her hip.

Misty rested their foreheads together, their eyes closing as they basked in the moment. The rapid beat of her heart calmed, her breathing returning to normal, exhaustion being to pull at the back of her mind.

“Forever.” Misty giggled, kissing the tip of her nose.

Cordelia hummed, opening her heavy eyes. The wonder and unbridled joy in Misty’s voice mirrored in her own, “I promise it.”

“I swear it.”

She sobered slightly, eyes slipping shut at a gentle touch along her cheek. She spoke quietly, but the strength still rang clearly in each word, “You deserve everything I can give.”

She opened her eyes, hoping Misty could see in them just how strongly and truly she meant every word.

“And _you_ deserve everythin’ I have.” Misty bit her lip, a little furrow between her brows. “It ain’t much, but I mean every part of it.”

Cordelia cupped Misty’s face with both hands, sweeping away her self-doubt as best as she could.

“You are more than enough. Never think anything else.” Her voice was strong, every word meant with such intensity, willing Misty to take them to heart. “Having you…” This time her voice broke under the weight of her emotion, a sudden swell of tears in her eyes just barely held back – like a dam holding back a river. “Having you here. Having you back, it means more than I can ever begin to explain.”

She brushed Misty’s tears away, her own vision blurring as her own escaped.

“Seems like we’ve both been doin’ a lot of cryin’ lately.” Misty sniffed, smiling sweetly.

“Happy tears.”

“Yeah.” Misty chuckled, wrapping her arms tighter around her, “So very happy.”

If someone had told her half a year ago that she would be here, now, Misty in her arms, feelings laid bare, heart fit to burst with feeling, she would never have believed them. Never.

Cordelia pressed a kiss to her forehead, the touch lingering for a moment. Happy tears though they were, the remnants of them ached at the back of her eyes.

Misty lifted her head, turning away to yawn widely, eyes scrunching up as she did so.

“Come here.”

Misty did as she asked, cuddling up to her and pulling the blanket up over them. Cordelia turned to switch the light off, Misty’s touch following her, guiding her back into place when she rolled over in the darkness. A reverse to their typical position, Cordelia’s head on Misty’s bare shoulder, their arms still wrapped around each other.

She went to say something, a bid goodnight perhaps, but a soft snore cut her off and she fell silent with an indulgent smile.

Her foot caught on something – her pajamas maybe – and she pushed the fabric to the bottom of the bed. Tomorrow, she would sort it all out. Clean sheets. A shower. A new start – or, rather, a continuation of what they had already began, only now they were certainly more than just friends (lovers? Girlfriends?). More to discuss, she supposed. Whatever they decided, if anything, it could wait. They had a lot of lost time to catch up on first.

Even with all the time that had passed since her return, she still struggled to process it all – understand the impossibility that had somehow not only became possible, but had happened. Even now though, she dared not question it, lest she slip through her fingers like ash once more.

No. That would never happen. Never again.

An impossibility.

Her hold on Misty tightened, and she returned it in kind even in sleep.

Her impossibility.

A gentle kiss to her furrowed forehead mirrored her earlier gesture.

“You’re thinkin’ too hard.” Misty’s voice was heavy with sleep, full of affection, “Keepin’ me awake.”

Cordelia laughed lightly, in the dark she could just make out the smile on Misty’s face, her eyes still closed.

She had never believed in miracles.

And yet she now held one in her arms.

Cordelia nestled down further, the beat of Misty’s heart steady beneath her ear, a soothing reminder as she closed her eyes.


End file.
